This is a weird, irregularly-shaped lump of chocolate. It's definitely a chocolate-covered something, but there's really no telling what that something is.
(In-game plural: chocolate lumps)
- Obsoleted Areas/Methods
|You bite into the lump of chocolate, and after chewing it up, you identify the contents as... underdone potato. Yech.
Not only is it gross, but it's bound to give you nightmares, too.
- Gives you nightmares when resting:
You wake up in the middle of the night and see a bright light outside of your bed curtains. Since you don't have any curtains (and may or may not have a bed), you're pretty sure you're dreaming. You hope it's not curtains for you, though.
You push back the curtains and the bright light solidifies into a ghost! He has the requisite long, white robe, but some decidedly non-requisite dreadlocks hanging down past his shoulders. He gazes piercingly at you and speaks.
"Hey, mon," he says. "I be Marley's Ghost. I come to tell ya that tonight ye will be visited by tree spirits."
"Tree spirits?" you ask. "You mean those fruity little things in Canadia?"
"Nah, mon," he says. "One, two, tree -- tree spirits."
"Is this about me realizing I'm a horrible person and resolving to change, and ending up all giddy as a schoolboy?" you ask. "Because, if so, I'd rather just stay horrible. It doesn't bother me, except when people move my chair."
"Nah, mon." The ghost answers. "Uncle Crimbo's gone missing, and these tree spirits are going to help yah rescue him. The first is de ghost of Crimbo Way, Way Past. The second is the ghost of Crimbo Right-about-now. You'll like him, he's a funk soul brother. The third is the Ghost of Crimbo In The Not-Too-Distant Future. You'll see the first one the next time you fall asleep."
"Seriously," you say, "I don't really want to bother with any ghosts, man. I mean, I don't even have my proton pack."
"Expect the first one the next time you fall asleep," the ghost repeats, and starts to fade away, singing some song about martial bison.
You wake up to the sound of someone banging a bone against a rock. Well, you don't know that's what the sound is until you get up and look, but that's what it is.
You see a shimmery, transparent caveman (who may or may not have just saved a lot of money on his car insurance), dressed in furs and squatting on your floor, pounding said rock with said leg-bone.
"Me Ugh. Gwee tonga nala tonga macha pooka." he says, gesturing and grunting at you.
"You're Ugh, the ghost of Crimbo Way, Way Past, and you want me to go to the Big Mountains, where Crimbotown was last year, and I'll be magically transported to CrimboRock, which is Crimbotown thousands of years ago?"
"Ugh. Gwee zug fech haraka ool."
"And you say that once I'm there, I can fight monsters, make toys, and find part of the magic spell for rescuing Uncle Crimbo?"
"Ugh," the caveman says, nodding his assent.
Wow, I wish I could speak Caveman.
- If you did not use your chocolate lump given by the advent calendar on the first day, you receive a second lump the next day. Currently using both gives you the visitation of the first and second ghosts twice. The administration is aware of this and say in the end you will need more than one.
- You also get a new lump from the advent calendar if you ascend; Crimbo Rock will unlock itself again after resting twice.
- The general structure of the visiting ghosts of Christmas/Crimbo past, present and future and the nightmarish vision of Marley, attributed to underdone potato, are borrowed from Dickens' "A Christmas Carol". In that book, Scrooge originally blames his visions on bad digestion - "You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato."
- The references to remaining horrible and someone moving your chair refer to the song Someone Keeps Moving My Chair from the album Flood by They Might Be Giants.
- The ghost of Marley is a reference to Marley from Dickens' "A Christmas Carol", but in this case he is being played by Bob Marley, hence the dreadlocks, and the hint of a Jamaican accent. Martial bison is most likely a reference to the Bob Marley song "Buffalo Soldier."
- The caveman who may or may not have saved money on his car insurance is a reference to the long-running series of Geico commercials with the catch phrase "So easy a caveman could do it."
- Crimborock is an allusion to The Flintstones, in which all the town names end with -rock (e.g. Bedrock, Hollyrock, etc.)
- "Wow, I wish I could speak Caveman." is a reference to Finding Nemo, where Dory, after speaking whale, immediately forgets she can and says to Marlin, "Wow, I wish I could speak whale."
- The ghost of Crimbo "Right-about-now" and the statement "he's a funk soul brother" is a reference to Fatboy Slim's song, "The Rockafeller Skank", whose lyrics consist entirely of "check it out now, funk soul brother, right about now, funk soul brother" repeated over and over.
- The Ghost of Crimbo "In The Not-Too-Distant Future" refers to the defunct TV show Mystery Science Theater 3000, whose theme song began with that phrase.
- The "proton pack" is a reference to the Ghostbusters movie.
- The Caveman's speech is a reference to the 1981 movie, Caveman.
- The Crimbo Caveman could very well be a reference to the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Christmas/Thanksgiving Special, where the Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future insists that Santa was an ape, who made toys out of bones and feces, which other monkeys at the time threw at each other.
- The part about banging a rock with a bone is probably a reference to 2001: A Space Odyssey. The beginning of the movie (and book) takes place in prehistoric times, and a caveman performs this act as a symbol that they are becoming advanced enough to begin making and using tools (and hence beginning to evolve to modern man).