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Chatbot (#142302) is a chat bot that was coded (and is currently run by) Fnord7 (#122332). In other words, it is an automated script that runs in the chat rooms and responds to your requests. Type /msg chatbot help in chat for a list of the things that chatbot can do for you. She has her own webpage, from which you can download her code and run your own bot, if you so desire.

Chatbot responds to many things, including:


  • /msg chatbot day
  • /msg chatbot time
  • /msg chatbot Does the hermit have clover today?
  • /msg chatbot hermit clover
  • /msg chatbot grue
  • /msg chatbot rollover
  • /msg chatbot wereseal
  • /msg chatbot how do I become a mod?
  • /msg chatbot sourcecode
  • /msg chatbot lounge
  • /msg chatbot help
  • /msg chatbot owner

Radio Commands

  • /msg chatbot radio <station>
  • /msg chatbot dj <station>
  • /msg chatbot rhistory <station>
  • /msg chatbot rsubscribe <station>
  • /msg chatbot djsubscribe <station>
  • /msg chatbot radio unsubscribe

The text <station> can be either RKOL, GKOL, or RFX (if the text is omitted or is invalid); it defaults to Radio KoL (RKOL). Case does not matter.


  • /msg chatbot Please find me a buff.

Game Rolling Service

  • /msg chatbot roll 1d10 (rolls privately)
  • /msg chatbot roll 1d10 in games (rolls publicly)
  • /msg chatbot roll verify <player> (kmails you the history of a player's private rolls)

In the text 1d10, 10 represents the total number of tickets, so if you had 30 tickets, you would change it to 1d30.

You can also set up a macro to manage all of your rolling needs. Next to the macro number of your choice, type /msg chatbot roll $$ in games. Don't forget to save your changes. When you are ready to roll, type /1 1d10 in chat, while substituting the number of whichever macro you used for /1.

Ascension Planning Service

  • /msg chatbot ascension
  • /msg chatbot ascension accept
  • /msg chatbot ascension leaderboard
  • /msg chatbot ascension new


  • /msg chatbot May I please have some meat?
  • /msg chatbot I would like a treat
  • /msg chatbot May I please have some booze
  • /msg chatbot booze
  • /msg chatbot food
  • /msg chatbot need free stuff
  • /msg chatbot meat


  • /msg chatbot Aflubadubdub!
  • /msg chatbot asl
  • /msg chatbot haiku
  • /msg chatbot hats
  • /msg chatbot Please say some stuff!
  • /msg chatbot riddle
  • /msg chatbot date
  • /msg chatbot Iocaine Powder
  • /msg chatbot vote
  • /msg chatbot 42
  • /msg chatbot porn
  • /msg chatbot princess
  • /msg chatbot I <3 j00 chatbot
  • /msg chatbot what is the meaning of life?
  • /msg chatbot i love you
  • /msg chatbot cheese cookies
  • /msg chatbot shrug wang
  • /msg chatbot w00t i just found love in you!
  • /msg chatbot booble

Chat Killer

  • /msg chatbot killer
  • /msg chatbot killer available [CHANNELS]
  • /msg chatbot killer status

See this forum thread for complete details.

Fire/Water/Grue Game

  • /msg chatbot game
  • /msg chatbot game help
  • /msg chatbot game grue
  • /msg chatbot game fire
  • /msg chatbot game water


  • /msg chatbot ELIZA (caps required; exit using /msg chatbot exit)
  • /msg chatbot assassins *
  • /msg chatbot matchmaker
  • /msg chatbot old school *
  • /msg chatbot Please take out FAMILIAR
  • /msg chatbot poll
  • /msg chatbot remind me to do important stuff
  • /msg chatbot remind me
  • /msg chatbot send ITEM to USER
  • /msg chatbot you're funny
  • /msg chatbot :)
  • /msg chatbot Welcome back to the Kingdom of Loathing
  • /msg chatbot trust
  • /msg chatbot thanks
  • /msg chatbot kiss
  • /msg chatbot hug
  • /msg chatbot glomp
  • /msg chatbot you are awesome


  • /msg chatbot timer
  • /msg chatbot timer finish
  • /msg chatbot pizza

Doesn't Understand?

If you say something that chatbot doesn't understand, she will say one of the following things:

  • *sniff* You're using words I don't understand. I bet you can get into /lounge, too!
  • Maybe if you spoke in short, simple words, I might understand. Probably not, I'm pretty dense.
  • My vocabulary is quite limited. Let me know in kmail what I should say here.
  • 919a9d28987fcb is how I understood your sentence. Maybe computers and people can't talk.
  • Sorry, I didn't understand that. Try asking me for help.
  • Whoops, the topic of conversation completely slipped my mind. Please continue.
  • I'm young and single, am open regarding sexual orientation, and don't want to settle down yet.


After any answer, chatbot may add the text -tic- or -toc-. It does not have any effect on the game.

Some messages can be abbreviated and/or modified, as long as certain keywords are spelled correctly. For example, you can find out if the hermit has clovers with:

  • /msg chatbot hermit clover

In addition, chatbot will publicly respond to several actions in chat, including:

  • Hi chatbot
  • Bye chatbot
  • I love you chatbot
  • a/s/l (chatbot will respond in a private message)
  • If you buff chatbot, she will respond in a private message with Thanks for [name of buff]. You rock!; she will also publicly respond by saying [name] rocks my world!. This public acknowledgement appears to occur only once a day.
  • If you TP chatbot, the following messages may (privately) appear in chat: Thank you for decorating my house! I'm still working on learning appropriate human decorating styles, and am grateful for any help. or *shakes my bot-cane* Get out of my campground and stay out you whippersnapper! or You know you should really clean that up now.

She will also publicly respond to the following emotes:

  • /em boogies with chatbot
  • /em chews chatbot
  • /em dances with chatbot
  • /em does the robot with chatbot
  • /em does the timewarp with chatbot
  • /em does the jitterbug with chatbot
  • /em does the electric slide with chatbot
  • /em does the mashed potato with chatbot
  • /em does the lambada with chatbot
  • /em does the watusi with chatbot
  • /em does the hokey pokey with chatbot
  • /em dances a jig with chatbot
  • /em hugs chatbot
  • /em loves chatbot
  • /em moshes with chatbot
  • /em pokes chatbot
  • /em polkas with chatbot
  • /em reprograms chatbot
  • /em rocks out with chatbot
  • /em slamdances with chatbot
  • /em tangos with chatbot
  • /em waltzes with chatbot
  • /em salsas with chatbot
  • /em hides behind chatbot
  • /em smiles at chatbot


  • The Fire, Water, Grue game command is a reference to Zork: Grand Inquisitor, in which, as you near the end of the game, you must play a mini-game called Fire, Water, Grue to get the Cube of Foundation.
  • If the hermit has ten-leaf clovers available for trading when chatbot is private messaged with the appropriate command, she will respond with the affirmative O frabjous day!. This is a quote from the poem Jabberwocky: "O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' / He chortled in his joy."
  • The answer that you will receive if you ask about the meaning of life (42) is a reference to the novel The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

See Also