You approach the source of the mysterious 'pssst!' noise, and peek through the little barred window of the door. It's dark inside, but you can see the outline of a figure moving around in there. "Hello?" you call.
"Finally, a human! Look, can you help me out here? These crazy goblins are going to do some kind of insane experiment on me. I've seen some of the freaks they keep in their menagerie, and let me tell you, I'm not what you would call 'eager'."
You try the door-handle, but not unexpectedly, it's locked tight. "What can I do to help?"
"Well," says the prisoner, "I'd like to at least know what they're planning. One of the scientists should have a file on me, or something. Think you can get ahold of it?"
"Sure," you say, "I'll give it a shot."
Without a Subject 37 file:
As you pass by Subject 37's door, you hear him whisper at you: "Pssst! Did you find that file yet?" "Er, no. Still working on that," you reply.
"Okay, well, no pressure or anything, but I would kind of like to know what sort of horrible torture I'm about to be subjected to, you know?"
"Right. I'll get right on it."
With a Subject 37 file:
You pass the folder through the little barred window, and hear Subject 37 flipping through the pages.
"Let's see here... 'skullectomy'? 'squidoplasty'? 'complete skinectomy, replace with nipples (verify available quantity)'? What the crap?! I've got to get out of here!"
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
"I've got a basic outline of a plan. First, I'm going to need a way to distract the guard. There's a crazy thing they call a 'BASIC Elemental' that they keep in the first level of the Menagerie. I saw them bringing one of them in, and it threw a weird-looking object that teleported one of the scientists away. Can you get me one of those?"
Without a GOTO:
You approach the window of Subject 37's cell, and peer into the blackness inside. "Hey," you ask, "I was working on getting you that thing? That thing you wanted? But I completely blanked on what it actually was." "I don't know what it's called," the voice comes back, "but it's a thing those BASIC elementals have. Like a thing that can be used to teleport an opponent away. You can find them on Menagerie level 1." "Okay."
With a GOTO:
You pass the GOTO through the window, and Subject 37 thanks you.
"Okay, the next thing I'll need is a way to break open this little barred window. There's a really muscular beast called a weremoose -- they have several of them locked up on Menagerie level 2. My guess is that, if they're true lycanthropes, it should be possible to grant me their power on a temporary basis, with some of their spit. So I'll need you to bring me some."
"That's really gross."
"Yeah, sorry, but any port in a storm, right?"
Without a weremoose spit:
You stop by Subject 37's door to chat for a bit. Eventually he asks you if you've got that bottle of weremoose spit he needs for his escape plan, and you smack your forehead with the palm of your hand and admit that you totally forgot about it. How embarrassing.
With a weremoose spit:
You pass the little vial of of weremoose spit through the window. "Great!" Subject 37 says, "This is perfect. Okay, I just need one more thing: once I break open this window, I'm going to need help getting through it. It's going to be a tight squeeze, so I'm going to need some heavy-duty lubricant. They have some big fat guys locked up on the third level of the Menagerie, some blubber from one of those should do the trick."
"That's even grosser than the weremoose spit!"
"This is the last thing I need, I promise."
Without an abominable blubber:
"Hey, 37?" you call.
"What was that last thing you needed?"
"A hunk of blubber from one of the big fat guys in Menagerie level 3."
"Right. No problem. I'll be right back."
With an abominable blubber:
You hand Subject 37 the glob of abominable blubber. "Wow!" he says, "this stuff really is gross. All right, that should do it. Keep an eye on the corridor for me, okay?"
You go look around the corner, and soon hear a strange noise -- it sounds a little bit like "Arrgh! Nnnnnrrrg! ROAR! *crunch* *smash* schlurrrrrrrrrrrp-pop!" Then you hear a guard say "Hey! What the--" and then there's a sort of "zwoip!" noise, and then the sound of running feet fades off into the distance.
You go back to the cell and look around, but it's empty. Looks like Subject 37 made good his escape. Guess that's your good deed for today.
Subsequent visits (And also prior to March 8, 2011):
You knock on the door of Cell #37, but there's no response.
In your mailbox the next day:
From Subject 37
My escape went off without a hitch, and I've made my way safely home. I couldn't have done it without you, <Player> -- please accept this charm as a token of my thanks. Perhaps it will aid you in your future endeavors.
You acquire an item: mysterious silver lapel pin
- On completion:
You've done a good turn, and helped Subject 37 make his escape from the Cobb's Knob Menagerie.
- Having all three Menagerie items does not trigger a shortened exchange. You still must click on the cell door for each of them.
- If you ascend the same day you complete the quest you will not receive the reward message (and item).
- "The Pretty Good Escape" is a play on the phrase "The Great Escape".
- The name "Subject 37" and the quest reward allude to both:
- The guard's line "Hey! What the...zwoip!" is a reference to a Bill Cosby sketch, namely the Chicken Heart story.