Caveman sorority girl
|Caveman sorority girl|
|Locations||The Orcish Frat House (Bombed Back to the Stone Age)|
|Monster Parts||head, arm, leg, torso|
At first glance, this creature resembles your average cavegirl -- protruding forehead, dragging knuckles, and animal skins? A closer inspection reveals that this cavegirl is wearing designer animal skins that cost far more pebbles than usual skins, even though they cover far less surface area on the body?
Even closer inspection reveals that she's completely intoxicated, and every monosyllabic expression she makes is inflected upward at the end, like a question?
She lifts up the top of her animal-skin bikini. When you don't throw beads at her, she punches you in the <elbow>. Ow! Ooh! Oof!
She hops up on a nearby tree stump and starts dancing on it, then falls off on top of you. Ouch! Ooh! Ouch!
She kicks you square in the <bung>. Tell me why should it be true that you get a kick out of her? Ooh! Ooh! Ugh!
She flirts with you. Unfortunately, prehistoric flirting involves a lot of face-punching. Argh! Ouch! Ow!
She gives the mating call of sorority cavegirls everywhere: "Oma gah, like, can a cute boy come help me out?!" A crowd of caveman frat boys answers the call and tramples the stuffing out of you. Ugh! Ugh! Eek! Oof!
She lifts up the top of her animal-skin bikini, but you avert your eyes.
She hops up on a nearby tree stump and starts dancing on it. It's entertaining, but not much of an attack.
She tries to kick you, but she's like champagne, in that you get no kick from her.
She flirts with you, but you demur.
She raises her club high above her head to deliver a crippling body blow. Before she does, however, a bunch of her friends call her away to do a few crippling body shots. (FUMBLE!)
|You gain 40-60 Meat|
|You acquire an item: cup of primitive beer (24.4% chance)*|
|You gain 57.5 <substat>.|
- There are a couple of references to Cole Porter's song "I Get a Kick Out of You" in the messages: "I get no kick from champagne / Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all / So tell me why should it be true / That I get a kick out of you."