Caveman hippy

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Caveman hippy
Monster ID 471
Locations The Hippy Camp (Bombed Back to the Stone Age)
Hit Points 280
Attack 240
Defense 216
No-Hit 250
Initiative 20
Meat None
Phylum hippy
Elements stench
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
Drops
dreadlock whip, handful of pine needles, stone frisbee
Quest Spanish fly
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
caveman hippy You're fighting a caveman hippy

Unlike modern hippies, this one subsists on a primitive diet of nuts, berries, and twigs. Huh.

Unlike modern hippies, this one exudes the funk of not having discovered bathing yet. Huh.

Unlike modern hippies, this one's hair is a snarl of mud and ... okay, never mind. You can tell he's a caveman because of the protruding brow and the low-cost car insurance.

Hit Message(s):

He pulls out a primitive drum and engages in a one-man drum circle. Your brain bleeds. Ow! Ouch! Argh!

He whips you with his primitive dreadlocks. Okay, so they're not that different from regular dreadlocks. Ooh! Eek! Ooh!

He swings at you, but misses. The odor from his armpits, however, hits spot-on. Oof! Ow! Argh! (stench damage)

He claws you with his filthy fingernails. Gah, you're going to need a tetanus shot. Ugh! Eek! Argh!

Critical Hit Message:

He eats some kind of mushroom and starts wildly punching and kicking at things only he can see. Unfortunately, several blows randomly connect with your <solar plexus>, <foot>, and <throat>. Eek! Ow! Ugh! Argh! Ooh!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to beat you like a drum, but you circle him warily.

He tries to whip you with his dreadlocks, but you refuse to be whipped.

His overpowering body odor almost knocks you out, but you hold your breath and back away.

He tries to claw you with his fingernails, but there's so much gunk under them that they're not sharp anymore.

Fumble Message:

He produces a bunch of dried leaves, a thin piece of bark, a flint, and some tinder. He rolls the bark around the dried leaves, then tries to light it with the flint and tinder. You watch, mildly bored. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat


Dreadwhip.gifYou acquire an item: dreadlock whip (10% chance)*
Needles.gifYou acquire an item: handful of pine needles (20% chance)*
Stonefrisbee.gifYou acquire an item: stone frisbee (20% chance)*
Spanishfly.gifYou acquire an item: Spanish fly (25% chance)*
You gain 63 <substat>.

Occurs at The Hippy Camp (Bombed Back to the Stone Age)

References

  • The line about "low-cost car insurance" refers to the Geico "caveman" ads.