Caveman frat boy
|Caveman frat boy|
|Locations||The Orcish Frat House (Bombed Back to the Stone Age)|
|Monster Parts||head, arm, leg, torso|
Unlike modern frat boys, this knuckle-dragging, simple-minded creature is only interested in food, sex, and beating the crap out of anything smaller than itself. Huh.
Unlike modern frat boys, this creature has a monosyllabic vocabulary. Huh.
Unlike modern frat boys, this creature doesn't drink beer, because it hasn't discovered how to ferment hops yet. There you go.
It smashes you with one gigantic fist. He will hit you with his fist. Ouch! Oof! Argh!
It smacks you upside the sandwich with its club. And by "sandwich," I mean "<calf>." Ooh! Ugh! Ugh!
It smashes its club into your hindquarters. It's like being frat-paddled, only with more compression fractures. Oof! Ugh! Ow!
It headbutts you with its protruding forehead. You wish you had a prosthetic forehead to absorb the blow. Ouch! Oof! Oof!
It raises its club high over its head and brings it smashing down on top of your head. Tiny tweeting birds appear and circle your bruised noggin', along with a couple of brightly-colored stars. Argh! Ugh! Ooh! Ow!
It tries to smash you with a fist, but you dodge.
It tries to smack you with its club, but you wouldn't be hit by any club that would have you as a member.
It tries to smash its club into your hindquarters, but you get you haul ass out of the way.
It tries to headbutt you, but it's a lousy headbutter. You'd butter believe it!
It raises its club high above its head, but you take this opportunity to tickle its ribs. It drops the club on its head, knocking itself out for a few minutes. (FUMBLE!)
|You gain 40-60 Meat|
|You acquire an item: chunk of rock salt (19.6 chance)*|
|You acquire an item: ovoid leather thing (23.4% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: stone baseball cap (9.7% chance)*|
|You gain 66 <substat>.|
- The miss message "you wouldn't be hit by any club that would have you as a member" hints of Groucho Marx's quote, "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."
- The hit message "He will hit you with his fist" is likely a reference to the DC comic "Hitman", whose 5th issue introduced the character Nightfist with the phrase "He will hit you with his fist!"
- The hit message referencing a prosthetic forehead is almost certainly a reference to the They Might Be Giants song "We Want A Rock", as well as a reference to the Angry Goat's familiar equipment (which references the same song).