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This is a ridiculously large laser cannon, or "Crimborg Biomechanical Fragging Gun," designed for fragging the heck out of anything that crosses your path. With this thing, someone could run up to you firing hundreds of bullets at you, and you could just casually kill them with one shot. It's actually pretty irritating.

Usually these things come in either red or blue, but this one's painted a festive red and green.

Type: ranged weapon (2-handed rifle)
Damage: 15 - 30
Moxie Required: 60
Outfit: Crimborg Assault Armor
  (3 items)

Cannot be traded or discarded

+10 Hot Damage
+10 Stench Damage

(In-game plural: C.B.F.G.s)
View metadata
Item number: 3089
Description ID: 149939402
View in-game: view

Obtained From

General Assembly Module whilst carrying a laser cannon, set of Unobtainium straps and a laser targeting chip


Looks like <it> is having a laser liaison. By the looks of the X damage <it> takes, it was a dangerous liaison. KAPOW! BOINK! ZAP!
You say "pew pew pew." That doesn't seem very effective, so you shoot <it> instead, doing X damage. WHAM! WHACK! KERBLAM!
You camp near the monster's spawning point and frag <it> for X damage. Weak, man. Weak. WHACK! BAM! WHAM!
You use your "laser" to shoot "<it>" for X "damage." KERBLAM! BAM! BOOF!
You blast <it> with your laser, doing X damage. Then you waltz around going "pa-pa-pow!" SMACK! BAM! BONK!
You hide behind a rock and snipe <it> for X damage. Good eye, sniper. SPLAT! ZOT! WHAM!


  • Originally, this was a 0-power 1-handed melee weapon with no type or enchantments, but the weapon was fixed later on its first day of availability.
    • Players who equipped the C.B.F.G. before the fix was implemented, but did not have a Moxie level high enough to equip it were allowed to retain and use the weapon as equipped after the fix.
    • Players who equipped the C.B.F.G. before it became a 2-handed weapon were also allowed to retain use of their off-hand item slot.


  • Several things about this item refer to first-person shooters.
    • The name of this item refers to the BFG 9000, from the well-known first-person shooter Doom. BFG was originally an acronym for "Big F***ing Gun".
    • The term "fragging," used in the description, is commonly used in first-person shooters to refer to killing other players, particularly when playing in deathmatch mode.
    • The mention that the weapon is typically either Red or Blue is a nod towards the many team based first-person shooters in which players are divided into red and blue teams.
    • The hit message about camping near the enemy's respawn point and fragging it refers to a common, and looked-down-upon, practice in first-person shooters of finding the location at which members of the opposing team "respawn" after dying, lurking there, and killing them as soon as they appear, known as respawn camping
    • The laser targeting chip also refers to the BFG, where the energy projectile may shoot out rays of energy to nearby enemies
  • The description line about the hundreds of bullets refers to James Bond, who frequently took out enemies with rapid-fire rifles with his hand pistol, never getting hit himself.
  • The hit message with quotation marks around "laser" and "it" refers to a scene in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, in which Doctor Evil overuses air quotes when describing a diabolic scheme involving a "laser" and the "ozone layer."
  • The hit message about sniping features the line "Good eye, sniper" from the Coheed and Cambria song, "A Favor House Atlantic."
  • The hit message which says, "Then you waltz around going 'pa-pa-pow!'" refers to a line from the movie Tank Girl.
  • There is no logical reason for a laser to inflict "stench" damage; however, the element colors are red and green, which are typical symbols of the Christmas holiday.
  • The "dangerous liaison" hit message is a reference to the lyrics of "The Remedy (I Won't Worry)" by Jason Mraz.
  • The "pew pew pew" hit message is likely a reference to an episode of southpark, where the boys were on the police force as "junior detectives", and when sent into a firefight merely pointed their fingers at the shooters and said "pew, pew, pew!" (ineffectively, of course).

See Also


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