Bundle of Meat of Happiness

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Bundle of Meat of Happiness
Monster ID 1301
Locations A Grocery Bag
Hit Points 100
Attack 30
Defense 100
Initiative 100
Meat 80-120
Phylum weird
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts meat, wrapper
Manuel the kindest cold cut
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
bundle of Meat of Happiness You're fighting a bundle of Meat of Happiness

This isn't the kind of meat you spend at a store. It's a slab of muscle from an unspecified animal, cooked just hot enough to rid it of potential parasites and sear the outer layer, and served up warm and dripping for your pointy carnivore teeth to dig into. Unless you're some kind of hippy.

Hit Message(s):

The grill marks on the meat make bruise lines on your <nipple>. Oof! Ooh! (hot damage)

The meat beats you. At least it didn't read a manifesto first. Ugh! Oof!

The meat raises the steaks on the fight by lifting itself high into the air and smacking down on you with terminal force. Well done! Ouch! Ugh!

You've heard of putting a steak on a black eye, but this is the first time the steak gives you the black eye in the first place. Argh! Ouch!

It uses its meat to tenderize you. Ouch! Ouch!

Critical Hit Message:

not known

Miss Message(s):

The meat flips itself over and goes back on the grill for a few minutes.

The meat tries to beat you, but stops to read a manifesto first.

It tries to tenderize you, but you're too tough for that kind of treatment.

The meat realizes it hasn't greeted you properly yet, and stops for a meat 'n' greet before attacking again.

The steak tries to give you a black eye, but you explain you're just supposed to put the steak on your eye after it gets blackened.

Fumble Message:

not known

After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 80-120 Meat (average: 100, stdev: 8.56)*

Occurs at A Grocery Bag.