Bundle of Meat of Happiness
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|Bundle of Meat of Happiness
|A Grocery Bag
|the kindest cold cut
This isn't the kind of meat you spend at a store. It's a slab of muscle from an unspecified animal, cooked just hot enough to rid it of potential parasites and sear the outer layer, and served up warm and dripping for your pointy carnivore teeth to dig into. Unless you're some kind of hippy.
The meat beats you. At least it didn't read a manifesto first. Ugh! Oof!
The meat raises the steaks on the fight by lifting itself high into the air and smacking down on you with terminal force. Well done! Ouch! Ugh!
You've heard of putting a steak on a black eye, but this is the first time the steak gives you the black eye in the first place. Argh! Ouch!
It uses its meat to tenderize you. Ouch! Ouch!
The meat flips itself over and goes back on the grill for a few minutes.
The meat tries to beat you, but stops to read a manifesto first.
It tries to tenderize you, but you're too tough for that kind of treatment.
The meat realizes it hasn't greeted you properly yet, and stops for a meat 'n' greet before attacking again.
The steak tries to give you a black eye, but you explain you're just supposed to put the steak on your eye after it gets blackened.
|You gain 80-120 Meat (average: 100, stdev: 8.56)*
Occurs at A Grocery Bag.