|Monster Parts||head, arm, leg, torso|
|Quest||Hugo's Weaving Manual|
Try as you might, you can't seem to get your eyes to focus on this thing. It's vaguely anthropomorphic, but it looks like those T-shirts that try to convince you you're drunk. Or, y'know, like T-shirts look when you're drunk.
It blurs you in the <lower back>. Ooh! Argh! Ow!
It checks your head, like a jumbo jet. Like everything, it isn't easy. Argh! Oof! Eek!
It pummels you. You feel like a chain store, practically floored. Oof! Oof! Ugh!
It charges you with a deafening "woo-hoo!" It pokes you with some pins and some needles, then it lies and it's easy. You're not particularly pleased to meet it. Ow! Ow! Oof!
It tries to blur you in the <thigh>, but misses.
It tries to check your <face> like a jumbo jet, but you dodge.
It tries to kick you and bore into you, but you refuse to be kicked around and bored.
It charges you with a deafening "woo-hoo!" but you lie down and easily dodge the attack. You feel pretty heavy metal for having avoided the assault. (FUMBLE!)
|You gain 96-144 Meat (average: 120, stdev: 10.2)*|
|You acquire an item: drum machine (29.5% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: carbonated water lily (9.7% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: hot date (5.6% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: palm frond (10.3% chance)*|
|You gain 34 <substat>.|
Occurs at An Oasis.
- The monster's name and many of its attacks reference the band Blur.
- The "woo-hoo!" message, as well as the messages that reference getting "Checked like a jumbo jet" and the message about "Pleased to meet you" all reference the song "Song 2" by the band Blur.
- The attack message about a "chain store, practically floored" and the messages about "Kicked around and bored" refer to the song Coffee and TV by Blur.
- It seems this is another reference to The Help Album. The The Help Album was put together to support a charity known as War Child.
- The fact that the encounter takes place in the oasis is a reference to the mid-nineties competition between the bands Blur and Oasis to stay on the top of the Britpop charts.