|Locations||Any location, with a Mini-Hipster familiar|
|Hit Points||75% of player's muscle|
|Attack||Moxie (cap at 10 000)|
|Defense||Muscle (cap at 10 000)|
|Monster Parts||arm, hair, head, legs, torso|
As you go about your business, a girl with bright blue hair skates out in front of you.
She puts her hands on her hips and glares. "<Familiar Name>, you were supposed to bikeshare with me to the farmer's market! I had to ride my mountain bike, and it has ten speeds! Can you imagine how thoroughly shunned I was? Even my moustache finger tattoo didn't get any laughs!"
"Hey, I was busy playing vintage video games on my Atari 2600 and writing a blog comparing the original carts to the far inferior emulators for the Commodore 64!" <Familiar Name> responds.
"WHAT?!" Mina says. "Everyone knows the emulators are far closer to the creators' original vision!" She drops her messenger bag and her head starts to glow.
ROUND ONE: FIGHT!
She tries to hit <Familiar Name> with the spiky lines that indicate her head is glowing. She misses him and hits you, though. Argh! Eek! Argh! Ow! Ow!
She hits you with her messenger bag. You're tempted to retaliate, but remember that you shouldn't shoot the messenger bag. Ooh! Oof! Ooh! Ugh! Ow!
She takes off her giant aviator sunglasses and blasts <Familiar Name> with an eye-beam. Oh, wait, sorry, that was you she hit. You guys look a lot alike. Eek! Oof! Argh! Ugh! Eek!
She jumps over <Familiar Name> and pummels you. A little counter keeps track of how many hits she makes in her combo. It's a little non sequitur, but pretty cool, all the same. Ow! Ugh! Ouch! Argh! Argh!
She skates right over your instep with her chunky, vintage skates. You howl in a brand new key of pain. Ugh! Ouch! Ouch! Argh! Ooh!
She skates off to deliver a package before she attacks again.
She tries to headbutt <Familiar Name>, but the spiky lines that indicate her head is glowing get in the way.
She tries to skate over your toes, but misses. Then she has to figure out how to use the toe-stopper on her vintage skates.
She tries to hit you with her messenger bag, but her vintage wool sweater snags on some of the pins adorning the shoulder strap.
She tries to blast <Familiar Name> with an eye-beam, but her Wayfarers block the beam. (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: ironic oversized sunglasses|
Occurs anywhere, with Mini-Hipster equipped (sometimes)
- This character is obviously based on Ramona Flowers, Scott Pilgrim's girlfriend.
- The hit message "You howl in a brand new key of pain" is a reference to the song "Brand New Key" by Melanie - the chorus contains the line "I got a brand new pair of roller skates / You got a brand new key."