|Locations||The Black Forest|
|Monster Parts||head, leg, tail, torso|
|Quest||broken wings, busted wings|
As you're passing beneath some low-hanging branches in the Black Forest, you hear the sound of a twig snapping followed by a low, angry growl. You turn to find the source of the growl, and see a small black badger, beating its tail against the ground and snarling at you with malice in its beady little badger eyes.
As you walk toward the badger to punt it out of your way, it is suddenly pounced on by a giant black panther. The panther devours the badger in a single bite, then turns to face you.
It puts its paws on your shoulders and licks your face with its sandpapery tongue. Ugh! Ugh! Oof! Ooh!
It suddenly transforms into a weirdly pasty guy in aviator sunglasses, who does a sickeningly suggestive dance. Ouch! Oof! Ugh! Eek! (sleaze damage)
It pounces on you, then bats you around for a while before biting you. Why do they do that? Oof! Ow! Argh! Ow!
It raises its paw in a gesture of solidarity, then uses it to punch you in the head. Eek! Eek! Oof! Eek!
It falls asleep in a sunbeam. You turn to leave and it tackles you. Homicidal psycho jungle cat! Ugh! Argh! Eek! Ooh!
It lies down on the ground and starts purring. You go to rub its belly, and after a few minutes it abruptly stops purring and skewers you with its claws. Stupid psycho cat! Ow! Oof! Eek! Ouch!
It pounces at you, but you duck and watch it go sailing over your head. Stupid kitty.
It tells you to fight the power, which you agree to do as soon as you have some free time.
It tries to give you a tongue bath, but you tell it you're clean enough already.
It suddenly transforms into a weirdly pasty guy in aviator sunglasses, who does some kind of weird little dance. Whatever.
It plays with you, batting you around with its paws but never actually hurting you.
It wanders over to a nearby sunbeam and falls asleep. You spend a few minutes composing a brief poem about sleeping cats, much to the panther's chagrin. (FUMBLE!)
|You gain 120-180 Meat (average: 150, stdev: 12.65)*|
|You acquire an item: Black No. 2 (20% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: broken wings (50% (one-time drop) chance)*|
|You acquire a bounty item: black eye|
|You gain 33-34 <substat>.|
Occurs in The Black Forest.
- The hit message about raising its paw and the miss message where it tells you to fight the power refer to the Black Panthers, a black power group.
- The fumble message about writing a poem refers to a Calvin and Hobbes comic strip where Calvin sees Hobbes sleeping in the sun and writes a poem about him:
- "Still and quiet feline form,
in the sun, asleep and warm.
His tail is limp his
Man, what could make
this cat so pooped?"
- "Still and quiet feline form,
- The messages about the "homicidal psycho jungle cat" is a reference to a Calvin and Hobbes comic strip collection of the same name.
- Prior to September 2019, the text about the "black badger" referenced a black beaver instead.
- When you turned to punt the beaver could be a reference to Epic Movie where one of the characters punts a talking beaver when it freaks her out. The fact the beaver does not talk, however, makes this debatable. If this was ever intended to be a reference, the replacement of the beaver by a badger has made it obsolete.
- The "It suddenly transforms into a weirdly pasty guy in aviator sunglasses, who does a sickeningly suggestive dance" message is a reference to the music video for Michael Jackson's "Black or White" in which a black panther morphs into Michael Jackson. The video generated controversy due to Jackson's sexually suggestive crotch-grabbing.