Black friar

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Black friar
Monster ID 1577
Locations The Black Forest
Hit Points 122
Attack 130
Defense 111
Initiative 75
Meat None
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
Drops
black cloak, black label, Mornington crescent roll
Manuel black friar's tonsure
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
black friar You're fighting a black friar

While circling the central district of the Black Forest, you encounter a rather metropolitan-looking friar, dressed in the severe black robes of the northern sects. The sight of you doesn't prompt him to throw a jubilee in your honor -- in fact, he looks like he'd rather hammersmith you right back to the city. So this is a fine piccadilly you find yourself in.

...Bakerloo.

Hit Message(s):

He gives you a swift kick in the mudchute. Eek! Oof!

He kicks you in the <calf>. If he keeps this up, you won't just be terminal, you'll be terminal 1, 2, and 3. Ow! Ow!

He kicks you right in the St. Pancras. I mean pancreas. Argh! Ooh!

He punches you right in the <thigh>. This could very well be your Waterloo. Ouch! Ouch!

His fist makes a loud wapping sound as it impacts your face. Ugh! Argh!

Ooh, it's going to take more than one saint to heal you from that punch he just gave you. Perhaps even all of them. And their seven sisters. Eek! Ooh!

Critical Hit Message:

He kicks you right in the Cockfosters/Shepherd's Bush.

Miss Message(s):

Elephant & Castle. I don't really have a joke for that one, it's just my favorite.

He aims at your head, but his fist whiffs right past your temple.

He starts to erect a monument in your memory, but you point out that you aren't dead yet.

He tries to kick you, but misses by a mile. He must be barking mad if he thinks he'll win that way.

He tries to kick you in the pancreas, but misses. You must have a grauniad angel.

He misses you, but it was a really close shave. Closer than any barber can.

Fumble Message:

He stumbles, having neglected to mind the gap. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Blackcloak.gifYou acquire an item: black cloak (5% chance)*
Blacklabel.gifYou acquire an item: black label (15% chance)*
Croissant.gifYou acquire an item: Mornington crescent roll (15% chance)*
Cueball.gifYou acquire an item: black friar's tonsure (15% chance)*

Occurs at The Black Forest.

References

  • This monster is a big collection of references to the London Underground subway network.
    • The monster description mentions nearly every line in the network: Circle, Central, District, Metropolitan, Northern , Jubilee, Hammersmith and City, Piccadilly, and Bakerloo. It does miss the Victoria and Overground lines, as well as some of the smaller ones.
      • The Northern line is represented as black on maps, as are the mentioned robes of the northern sect of friars.
    • Blackfriars, Barking, Elephant & Castle, Monument, St Pancras (technically Kings Cross St Pancras on the Underground), Barbican, Temple, Cockfosters, Wapping, All Saints, Seven Sisters, Waterloo, "Heathrow Terminals 1,2,3" and Mornington Crescent are all stations on the London Underground.
    • Passengers are regularly reminded to (please) Mind The Gap (between the train and the platform).
  • Mornington Crescent is also a satirical radio panel game.
  • "Grauniad angel" is a reference to The Guardian, a British newspaper sometimes jokingly known as The Grauniad on account of frequent spelling errors