Black Crayon Hobo
|Black Crayon Hobo|
|Locations||Anywhere, with an Artistic Goth Kid equipped (after fighting a hobo-type monster)|
|Hit Points||75% of Defense|
|Attack||Moxie (cap at 10 000)|
|Defense||Muscle (cap at 10 000)|
|Monster Parts||arm, bindle, head, leg, torso|
Nomad, vagabond, call him what you will: the noble hobo exists outside of the oppressive structure of consumer-driven society, his freedom and his bindle his only companions. His cigar stub and five o'clock shadow mark him as unique and special, much like a goth's eyeliner and nail polish.
He scratches you with his five o'clock shadow, leaving black crayon stubble on your face. Ouch! Ugh! Ugh! Argh! Eek! Argh! Ugh!
He pulls out a black crayon pocketknife and carves some hobo glyphs into your <giblets>. Ooh! Ooh! Ow! Eek! Ooh! Argh! Oof!
He smacks you with his bindle.Oof! Oof! Argh! Argh! Ouch! Ouch! Argh!
He lights his black crayon cigar. It doesn't really burn, but he does manage to drip boiling-hot wax on you.Ugh! Ooh! Ow! Argh! Ow! Ugh! Eek!(hot damage)
He starts shouting nonsense about mind control devices and tinfoil hats, flailing madly. His elbows and knees play your <ankle> like an accordion. Argh! Ouch! Argh!
He tries to scratch you with his black crayon stubble, but crayon shavings aren't particularly sharp.
He tries to smack you with his bindle, but it's too spindly to hurt. Spindly bindle!
He tries to carve hobo glyphs into your arm, but his crayon pocketknife isn't up to the task.
He lights his black crayon cigar and puffs out some black crayon smoke.
He opens his bindle and takes a couple of swigs of black crayon moonshine, then plays a lonesome tune on his black crayon harmonica. (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: crayon shavings (100.0% chance)*|
- The "Nomad, Vagabond, call him what you will" part is lifted nearly word-for-word from the Metallica song "Wherever I May Roam".