Big Meat Golem

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Big Meat Golem
Monster ID 276
Locations The Sorceress' Tower (The Stairs)
Hit Points 99999
Attack 99999
Defense 89999
No-Hit 100009
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum construct
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, back, head, torso
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Big Meat Golem You're fighting a Big Meat Golem

Wow, someone sacrificed a *lot* of meat and magic to make this thing. This meat golem isn't some tame thing designed to guard your campground, it's a wretched hive of scum and villainy designed to separate your head from your shoulders.

Hit Message(s):

The meat golem head-butts you with its meaty, cheesy head. Ugh! Ouch! Ooh! Ooh! Oof! Ooh! Ugh! Ouch! Ugh! Eek!

The meat golem kicks you with a meaty foot the size of a mid-size family sedan. Ooh! Ooh! Ugh! Argh! Ouch! Ow! Argh! Ouch! Ooh! Ugh!

The meat golem pounds you with a meaty fist the size of a patricularly large jellyfish. Ugh! Ooh! Eek! Argh! Ouch! Oof! Ouch! Ow! Ow! Ooh!

Miss Message(s):

It tries to you[sic] in the <lower back>, but misses.

You say a quick battle limerick over the meat vortex and hurl it at the meat golem. It vanishes backward into the whirling vortex, moaning something about ante and someone named Em.
You gain 40 <substat>.

Formerly occurred at The Sorceress' Tower (The Stairs). Can still be encountered via Wishing.


  • This monster cannot be copied.
  • This monster's combat weakness was the meat vortex.
  • If you lose, you will receive a hint as to which item to use.
    • First hint: It's not often that you encounter a monster that's entirely made of meat.
    • Second hint: Perhaps you could beat it with some sort of meat-affecting item.
    • Third hint: If you've got a meat-affecting item in your inventory, why not give it a whirl?
    • Fourth hint: Maybe there's something that could start the winds of change a-blowing.
    • Fifth hint: You need a meat vortex from the Valley Beyond the Orc Chasm.


  • The description text mentions "meat and magic", likely a reference to the Might and Magic series of computer games.
  • Obi-Wan Kenobi describes the spaceport Mos Eisely as "a wretched hive of scum and villainy" in 1977's Star Wars.
  • On defeat, the monster refers to the movie The Wizard Of Oz, where the main character has an "auntie" (homophone of "ante") named "Em", and is whisked away by a tornado.
  • The hit message mentioning a "cheesy head" is a reference to head cheese, which is actually a meat.
  • The description refers to the "regular" meat golem you can put up at your campsite.