|Locations||The Maelstrom of Lovers|
|Hit Points||75% of Monster Defense|
|Attack||Player's Moxie+2 (min 10, max 150)|
|Defense||Player's Muscle+2 (min 10, max 150)|
|Monster Parts||arm, head, leg, torso|
Bettie Barulio, for all her sins,
Is blown about here as a wraith on the winds,
In the Maelstrom of Lovers there're few as pathetic,
As Betty, who once was so lithe and athletic.
Her gentlemen callers, each Tom, Dick, and Michael,
Were used and used up and thrown out (or recycled).
No epithets cruel or unpleasantly snide!
Her love was not deep, but impressively wide.
She squeezes your arm and she pinches your butt!
You can't help but think that she's kind of a slut. (sleaze damage)
She whispers a pick-up line so full of raunch,
That you trip and you fall and you land on your haunch.
She pinches your butt without asking permission!
And then displays not a bare hint of contrition! (sleaze damage)
She bends over backwards and kicks in your nose!
She's even more limber than you would suppose!
She kisses you square on the mouth, and with tongue!
You choke and you spit and you hack up a lung. (sleaze damage)
She whispers sweet nothings right into your ear
It's not all that pleasant, but nothing to fear.
She gives you a look that says, "won't you come hither?"
But you decide you're better off staying thither.
She tips you a wink, but you don't tip it back
How good could a wraith really be in the sack?
She touches your cheek, which is not a disgrace,
'Cause for once she is touching the cheeks on your face.
She leans in for a kiss, but you lean back instead,
You'd much rather not have a wraith's tongue in your head. (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: jar full of wind (??% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: Barulio's bottle (??% chance)*|
- Hit messages at this time are not normally shown while in The Suburbs of Dis due to the poetry scheme overriding them. Messages acquired via copying monster.
Occurs at The Maelstrom of Lovers.