Battlie Knight Ghost
|Battlie Knight Ghost|
|Monster Parts||head, arm, leg, torso|
A short little ghost in a tattered, hooded robe rises from a tombstone and regards you with glowing orange eyes. "Blobblefabblelobblemartini!" he shouts. "Huh?"
"I said, are you aligned with Duke Starkiller, the true Hero of the Peak, and do you know the tale of his Galaxy Battles?" the thing says, looking you up and down. "Well, it's clear that you aren't and don't. I don't know if you're with the Duskwalkers, the Space Tourists, or the Garyonites, but you're not with us."
"I have a bad feeling about this," you say, as the ghost floats closer.
A ghost leaps down from a nearby tree, lands on one foot on a tombstone, then does a double-backflip to dismount and land in front of you. He's dressed all in black, with an intricate black-and-red tattoo all over his face and a ring of little horns around the top of his head. He pulls out a black cylinder, presses a button, and two glowing red blades pop out of either side.
"Man, you're clearly a total badass," you say. "How did you end up a ghost? It seems like mowing through the other factions would've been easy for you."
"Oh, that. Well, I jumped around a lot, and I got one kill, but then I just strutted around gloating until someone cut me in half."
"Well, that's disappointing."
"Hey, screw you!" the ghost shouts, attacking.
A truly peculiar ghost rises up from the ground in front of you. It kind of looks like a cross between an anthropomorphic rabbit and a frog, with long slimy ears and freakishly big lips. He does a goofy little jig in front of you. "Meesa be thinking yousa bombad poodoohead!" He shouts.
"Y'know what? I'm going to stop you there," you say.
A handsome male ghost in space-cowboy clothes rises up from a tombstone and looks at you with a wry smile. "Looks like we've got a live one," he says. "What faction are ya, kid? Do you fancy the wizard kid, or the pretty-boy vampire, or the time-traveling Professor? Maybe that Captain Kerkard guy? Or are you with the Galaxy Battles freaks?"
"Which one are you with?" you ask.
"Oh, I'm with Duke Starkiller and the Galaxy Battles," the ghost says, shrugging. "But really, I'm just in it for whoever's got the cash up front. Or at least I was, until I died on this Peak. That's where honor will get ya, kid." The ghost shrugs and stands up. "Anyway, I assume you're here to kill me, so allow me to shoot first."
A ghost shrouded all in black appears before you, breathing like a scuba diver in an iron lung. "Kssssshhhhh do you support Duke Starkiller and the Galaxy Battle, or some other faction hhhhaaaaaa" he says.
"I'm kind of undecided," you say.
"Kssssssshhhhh If you truly believe that your pathetic Gary Claybender or the Professor can help you, you truly do not know the power of the dim side, hhhhaaaaaaa," the ghost responds.
"Look, can you take off that helmet? It's really distracting," you say. The ghost removes his helmet to reveal an angsty teenaged boy.
"Well, that was anti-climactic," you say.
"I hate you! I hate you worse than I hate sand!" the boy screams, and attacks.
He fires seven dozen shots at you with a laser gun, and finally manages to hit you with one. Oof! Ooh!
He holds out his hand and makes a choking gesture. You start to choke. Then he makes a gonad-punching gesture with his other hand. Ouch! Oof!
He hits you with a blast from his Light Saver. Eek! Eek!
He turns his Light Saver upon you, releasing all the light he's been saving in it for a long, long time. When it's done, every inch of you feels like a slow-roasted rotisserie chicken. Ooh! Ouch! Ooh! (hot damage)
He fires 99 shots at you with a laser gun, but a hit ain't one.
He tries to get his orbiting space station to laser you from above, but it's out of firing range. Why didn't they just park the thing in range? Weird.
He holds out his hand and makes a tickling gesture. Heeheeheeheehee!
He tries to blast you with his Light Saver, but has already spent all the light he saved up.
He drops his Light Saver, and has to spend a full thirty seconds shouting "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" before he can pick it up again. (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: Whoompa Fur Pants (5% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: A-Boo clue (15% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: Battlie Light Saver (15% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: ectoplasmic orbs (?% chance)*|
|You gain 21 (?) <substat>.|
- Like all references to Galaxy Battles in this zone, this is a massive nod to the Star Wars universe.
- The short hooded figure with glowing yellow eyes refers to the Jawas.
- Duke Starkiller is clearly a play on Luke Skywalker.
- The frog-rabbit alien with the speech impediment is Jar-Jar Binks.
- The ghost in cowboy clothes is a nod to Han Solo. His comment about shooting first refers to the changes George Lucas made to the special edition of Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope.
- The ghost in black is Darth Vader. The removal of his mask (and the fact that he hates sand) is probably a reference to the portrayal of that character in the prequel films.
- "I have a bad feeling about this" refers to a running joke within the Star Wars universe, in which every movie and game based on Star Wars includes the line or a derivative of it.
- The acrobatic warrior with the face tattoos is a nod to Darth Maul.
- Light Savers are, of course, a reference to lightsabers.
- Many characters in Star Wars are notoriously inaccurate with their laser weapons, hence the hit and miss messages remarking as such.
- The planet-destroying space station is the Death Star.
- Choking an adversary by simply making an appropriate gesture was demonstrated by Darth Vader in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope.
- At the end of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Darth Vader, upon realizing his fate, lets out a long and howling "NOOOOOOOO!", as parodied in a miss message. This in turn is a reference to Luke Skywalker's similar scream when he discovers that Darth Vader is his father in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.
- The first miss message regarding 99 shots is likely a reference to the single 99 Problems.