Battlesuit Bugbear Type

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Battlesuit Bugbear Type
Monster ID 1171
Locations Engineering
Hit Points 150
Attack 125
Defense 112
Initiative 50
Meat None
Phylum beast
Elements None
Resistance 50% physical+elemental
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, laser, cannon
Drops
BURT
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Battlesuit Bugbear Type You're fighting a Battlesuit Bugbear Type

Most alien invasions fail because advanced civilizations tend to have little common sense. They'll cross the vast emptiness of space in faster-than-light vehicles and then, for example, charge naked onto a planet where 60% of the surface is toxic to them.

So give the bugbears some credit for developing these powered robotic battle suits, and give them a hefty berth if you don't want to get stomped on, blown up, or shot.

Hit Message(s):

It fires a missile at you, turning your <ear> into a sad, tiny crater. Ooh! Ow! Ugh! Oof! Ow!

It blasts you with its laser cannon. The laser cauterizes the wound, of course, but that's cold comfort. Oof! Oof! Eek! Oof! Eek!

It fires a couple thousand rounds at you with a minigun. Fortunately, only about 20% of them hit you. Unfortunately, that's still plenty. Ooh! Ugh! Ouch! Ugh! Eek!

It backhands you with a giant metal paw. The pilot's voice crackles through a speaker: "Who has noodly arms now, filthy human?" Ouch! Argh! Ouch! Oof! Ouch!

Critical Hit Message:

The battlesuit unleashes hey deze at you, hitting you with a laser beam, a couple of missiles, several bullets, and a partridge in a pear tree. Eek! Ouch! Ugh! Ooh! Eek!

Miss Message(s):

It fires a missile at you, but you dismiss the missile.

It blasts you with its laser cannon, improving your vision significantly.

It fires a couple thousand rounds at you with a minigun, but every single shot misses. A computerized voice says, "calibrating targeting systems."

It swings at you with a giant metal paw, but it's a swing and a miss.

Fumble Message:

The suit stands motionless. A computerized voice says, "Bugbear OS 7 must restart to apply updates. Hope you weren't doing anything important." (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Burt.gifYou acquire an item: BURT (100% chance)*

Occurs at Engineering and the The Penultimate Fantasy Airship.

References

  • The intro text mentions an oft-repeated criticism of the plot of the sci-fi movie Signs.
  • The fumble messages spoofs the Windows OS.