Bar

If you were looking for information on the bar in the pirate cove it's at Barrrney's Barrr.

Bar
Monster ID	202
Locations	The Spooky Forest
Hit Points	5
Attack	3
Defense	2
No-Hit	13
Initiative	50
Meat	12-18
Phylum	beast
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, leg, tail, torso
Drops bar skin
Accordion	baritone accordion
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a bar

You are attacked by a bar. Yup. I reckon there's a lot of bar in these here woods. Boy howdy.

Hit Message(s):

Well, that ol' bar just about clawed himself a nice big hole in your <ear>, I reckon. Ugh! Argh! Ugh!

The bar tries to show his tender side, but he's never heard of a tender bar (or a bar tender) so just ends up biting you. Ooh! Ooh! Argh!

Critical Hit Message:

You remember hearing once that bars can't run downhill, so you take off running. Turns out that whoever told you that was full of crap, though -- the bar tackles you and mauls you pretty comprehensively. Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

Well, that ol' bar tried to claw you right in the <neck>, but I reckon he missed.

The bar starts to attack, but suddenly needs to go do that thing that bars do in the woods.

Fumble Message:

The bar charges at you, but gets distracted by a nearby pot labeled "HUNNY." (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

Monster-Specific Hit Message:

Your attack severs the bar's arm, effectively violating his second amendment rights. You commie. You do X damage, Comrade. SPLAT! SPLAT! WHAM!

You gain 13-18 Meat

You acquire an item: bar skin (27.0% chance)*

You gain 1 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Spooky Forest.

Notes

• If you are an Accordion Thief and haven't stolen an accordion from this monster today, this text is added to the introduction:

  Half-buried in a pile of offal and forest detritus at the bar's feet, you notice an accordion!

• If you then cast Steal Accordion:

  You dart past the bar and snatch the accordion of his former victim.

  You acquire an item: baritone accordion

References

• The dialect and phrases in this adventure lampoon the narrative style of country singer Waylon Jennings from the classic American television series The Dukes of Hazzard.
• "Bar" may also reference the folk hero Davy Crockett, who "killed him a bar when he was only three."
• The second missed attack refers to the cliché, "Does a bear shit in the woods?" It is a common response to a yes/no question wherein the answer is an obvious "yes".
• The "pot of HUNNY" fumble message refers to Winnie-the-Pooh.
• "Bär" is German for "bear".
• The monster-specific hit message refers to the right to bear arms, a right that all US citizens have under the Second Amendment to the Constitution. "Bear" is a homonym; its two interpreted meanings here are the monster you're fighting, and the verb "to possess".