Baiowulf

Baiowulf
Monster ID	231
Locations	The Spooky Forest (ultra-rarely)
Hit Points	20
Attack	15
Defense	13
No-Hit	25
Initiative	always
Meat	None
Phylum	dude
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, head, leg, torso
Drops Talisman of Baio
refreshedit data

 You're fighting the Baiowulf

This legendary creature is half wolf, half Scott Baio. He wants to be in charge of your days and your nights, and he wants to be in charge of your wrongs and your rights. But you don't want him in charge of you, so you charge him.

Hit Message(s):

He zaps you in the <face>. You've never been zapped before, and it stings. Eek! Ow! Argh!

He removes your arm and beats you with it. Fortunately, he then re-attaches it. Eek! Ooh! Ouch! Ow! Argh! Ouch!

Critical Hit Message:

He asks if you know where Joanie is, and when you can't answer, he becomes enraged and viciously claws you.

Miss Message(s):

He starts to charge at you, but starts weeping and muttering about someone named "Joanie."

He tries to rip off your arm and beat you with it, but you disarm him first.

He tries to baio you in the neck, but misses.

Fumble Message:

He tries to claw your eyes out, but then your friend Buddy shows up and distracts him with some crazy scheme. Oh, that Buddy. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: Talisman of Baio (100% chance)*

If you lose the fight:

You are knocked to the ground. As the monster walks off, he drops a white ribbon.

You acquire an item: consolation ribbon (100% chance)*

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Occurs at The Spooky Forest, ultra-rarely.

Notes

• On April Fools' Day, 2006, this adventure appeared regularly for all users but dropped nothing.

References

• The name of this monster is a pun on the names of the actor Scott Baio and the epic poem Beowulf.
• The description of this monster refers to lyrics from the TV show Charles in Charge, which starred Scott Baio: "Charles in Charge/Of our days and our nights/Charles in Charge/Of our wrongs and our rights"
• The attack text references the movie Zapped!, starring Scott Baio.
• The attack text with the tearing off of an arm refers to the epic poem Beowulf, in which Beowulf kills the monster Grendel by tearing off its arm.
• The miss text references Scott Baio's role as Chachi from the TV shows Happy Days and Joanie Loves Chachi.
• The Fumble text references Scott Baio's Charles in Charge TV show misadventures with his fun-loving best friend "Buddy Lembeck," played by Willie Aames