Backstage at the Rogue Windmill

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Backstage at the Rogue Windmill
Backstage at the Rogue Windmill

You get lost on your way to the concession stand at the Rogue Windmill, and find that you can't get back inside to see the show. You walk around for a while, staring at the bright red walls, ceiling and floor, speculating on typographical errors, until you're completely lost. You try a door that looks like it'll lead to the back of the house, but instead it leads backstage. You see all of the rigging, props, and bizarre costumes for the show, and also a rickety staircase that seems to lead to the top of the windmill.


Pitch yourself up the stairs
The Batwalk

You climb up two flights of stairs and out a door to the roof. Looks like the stairs, unlike your legs, don't go all the way up -- there's a catwalk across a courtyard, then a door into the dome where the windmill's machinery is. You do your little turn on the catwalk, and open the door.As soon as you step inside, you're deafened by the squeaking and shrieking of hundreds of bats! As much as you'd like to see the view from the roof, you can't bring yourself to climb the stairs with all the bats swooping around you. You back out of the door, shake your little tush across the catwalk, and head back downstairs.

The Batwalk

You climb up two flights of stairs and out a door to the roof. Looks like the stairs, unlike your legs, don't go all the way up -- there's a catwalk across a courtyard, then a door into the dome where the windmill's machinery is. You do your little turn on the catwalk, and open the door.As soon as you step inside, you see bats swooping in the darkness and hear their shrieking and squeaking. Fortunately, since you've got bats in your own personal belfry, it doesn't freak you out enough to keep you from climbing up.

You climb to the top of the dome, open the trapdoor, and step out on the roof. Beneath the suspiciously large (and suspiciously single) moon, an entire city sparkles and twinkles. If you look closely, you can see that it's mostly a matte painting, but it's still breathtaking. You wave from your great height, and you know exactly what you'd do if someone told you to come down now.

Spiral.gifYou acquire an effect: No Vertigo
(duration: 5 Adventures)

Pitch in and help


A Spectacular Spectacle

You see a stagehand struggling under the weight of a giant plaster unicorn. He stops to catch his breath and catches sight of you, looking puzzled. You'd better distract him, quick!

"Hey, that looks heavy," you say. "What's it for?"

"It's for the amazing finale of our amazing spectacular show of wonderment! It'll be lowered from the ceiling with our hero on it, when he rides in at the lead of an army of space marines to take out the evil vampire lord and his zombie minions! Then everyone breaks into the grand musical finale, when the mermaids show up with their AK-47s! I just have to lug this thing up three flights of stairs and it'll be all set!"

"Sounds, uh, really Bohemian," you say. "Do you need a hand with that thing?"

You help him carry the unicorn up the stairs, thankful that you're backstage instead of in the audience.

You gain ? Beefiness.

Pitch yourself into showbusiness


A Catastrophic Rehearsal

You walk down a flight of stairs and into the green room under the Rogue Windmill (which is, of course, painted bright red like the rest of the building). You see a troupe of actors down there dressed like cats, apparently rehearsing the theatre's next show.

"Okay, people," a bossy tabby cat says, "let's take it from the top. TRY to get into character... Sally, your singing needs to be more shrill. Bob, start shredding the furniture ON THE BEAT this time. Mark, you're not supposed to cough up your hairball until Sally's final high note, okay? And Lisa, I really didn't believe that you WANTED to lick yourself. You're a CAT. You're taking a BATH, okay? Now, five-six-seven-eight!"

You watch as Sally the alley cat sings a song about all the great stuff she remembers, like scratching people's ankles and getting fur everywhere. It's not the most tuneful song, and not the best sung, and it goes on far too long, but at least it's accurate.

Well. That was fun. What next?

A Catastrophic Rehearsal

You walk down a flight of stairs and into the green room under the Rogue Windmill (which is, of course, painted bright red like the rest of the building). You see a troupe of actors down there dressed like cats, apparently rehearsing the theatre's next show.

"Okay, people," a bossy tabby cat says, "let's take it from the top. TRY to get into character... Sally, your singing needs to be more shrill. Bob, start shredding the furniture ON THE BEAT this time. Mark, you're not supposed to cough up your hairball until Sally's final high note, okay? And Lisa, I really didn't believe that you WANTED to lick yourself. You're a CAT. You're taking a BATH, okay? Now, five-six-seven-eight!"

For some reason, seeing all those dorks in cat costumes doesn't fill you with righteous anger the way it usually does. Instead, your stomach rumbles and you're uncontrollably, ravenously hungry. You leap out of the doorway, grab the nearest tail, and bite right through it.

The actor connected to the tail screams (most likely out of surprise, since the tail was only cotton batting and vinyl), and pandemonium briefly ensues. All the cat-actors clear out of the room as quick as they can -- at least one of them goes straight up the drapes.

Since nobody's watching, you decide to use the floor-to-ceiling mirror and barre to practice your dance moves. You do a few plié a pirouette or two, and finish with a couple jetés. By the time you're done, you feel pretty confident in your classical dancing skills.

Dance2.gifYou acquire an effect: Dancing Prowess
(duration: 5 Adventures)

Occurs at The Rogue Windmill.

References

  • The phrases "do your little turn" and "shake your little tush" are lyrics from Right Said Fred's song "I'm Too Sexy".
  • The line "You wave from your great height, and you know exactly what you'd do if someone told you to come down now" is a reference to the song "Such Great Heights" by The Postal Service.
  • The rehearsal, in the third choice, is clearly of an amateur production of the Broadway musical Cats.
  • "speculating on typographical errors" refers to the musical Moulin Rouge, which is French for "Red (Wind)Mill".
  • Choosing the "Batwalk" option with Bats in the Belfry is one big reference to the Alfred Hitchcock film Vertigo; specifically, it refers to the climax of the film.