Ayy, Sit on It

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Ayy, Sit on It
Ayy, Sit on It

You look at the seat add-ons with trepidation. Your butt deserves the very best; you know that to be true. But which seat is the best for your butt?

Massage Seat
(Regenerate 5-6 HP and MP per Adventure)
You install the Massage Seat. It begins to thrum and vibrate in a soothing, therapeutic way.

Deep Seat Cushions
(Find extra Meat after combat)
You install the Deep Seat Cushions. There's probably a bunch of spare meat left in there from the previous owner.

Sissy Bar
(-30 to Monster Level)
You install the Sissy Bar, feeling like a wicked little critta. Monsters are sure to be scared when you lay a patch on the tar.

Upgrade Something Else

Occurs at Upping Your Grade.


  • When the Deep Seat Cushions are installed, you will obtain additional meat at the end of every won combat adventure:
You search the nooks and crannies in your seat cushions, and find some extra Meat (probably put there by crooks and nannies).
You search deep into your motorcycle's seat until she chimes and asks what you think you're doing, but you find some extra Meat.
You don't find any extra Meat in your seat, but you do find some in the motorcycle's seat.
After a little pushin', you find some Meat in your cushions.
You search the voluminous folds of your seat for extra Meat, but you successfully find some when you search the motorcycle's seat.
You find some extra Meat in the seat cushions!
You search your cushions for extra Meat, then search the seat's cushions and actually find some.
You find <object> and some extra Meat in your seat cushions!
You find some extra Meat (and <object>) in the motorcycle's seat cushions!
You find <object>, <object>, and some Meat in your seat cushions!
Meat.gifYou gain 20-30 Meat.
  • Possible <objects> are:
    • a AAA battery
    • a black button
    • a broken ChibiBuddy™
    • a broken earring
    • a broken nose ring
    • a broken paperclip
    • a broken pencil
    • a cherry stem tied in a knot
    • a couple of beans
    • a dried-up wad of Rain-Doh™
    • a hair tie
    • a handful of sand
    • a handful of sunflower seed shells
    • a losing lottery ticket
    • a luggage tag
    • a moldy piece of cheese
    • a plum
    • a receipt
    • a receipt from Taco Dan's Taco Stand
    • a rubber washer
    • a set of dog tags
    • a stale piece of bread
    • a wad of gum
    • a wine cork
    • a zipper pull
    • an apple core
    • an apricot pit
    • an empty meat carton
    • an eraser shaped like a Pökemann
    • four french fries
    • half a dog bone
    • the foil from a wine bottle
    • three raisins
    • two bobby pins
    • two green buttons