Auteur elf

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Auteur elf
Monster ID 898
Locations Crimbo Town Toy Factory
Hit Points Scales with player stats
Attack Scales with player stats
Defense Scales with player stats
Initiative 0
Meat 16-24
Phylum elf
Elements None
Monster Parts torso, head, arm, leg
elven cellocello, elven suicide capsule
Quest elf resistance button
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
auteur elf You're fighting an auteur elf

You see an elf sneaking around the factory, surreptitiously filming the assembly lines. "Hey, what are you doing?" you shout, weapon at the ready.

"I'm making a documentary film about the deplorable labor conditions in this factory," the elf replies. "You can't stop me, man! Information wants to be free!"

"Yeah," you snarl, "well, your eye wants to be black."

Hit Message(s):

He beans you with his camera. To be fair, it's a perfectly framed shot. Eek! Oof! Eek! Ouch! Ouch! Ugh!

He shouts, "Cut!" An elf walks by and stabs you with a pair of scissors. Ow! Ow! Eek! Eek! Oof! Oof!

He pops the film out of his camera and garottes you with it. That was an unexpected development. Argh! Eek! Ouch! Ugh! Eek! Ugh!

He punches you in the face. It doesn't hurt much, but then he has to do it again for take after take until it's just right. Ouch! Ooh! Argh! Eek! Eek! Argh!

Critical Hit Message:

He incites a couple of elves to beat the stuffing out of you, then films the whole thing. Great, now you're beat-up and humiliated. Oof! Ugh! Ow! Oof! Eek! Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

He shouts, "Action!" Nothing happens.

He calls for a makeup artist to take the shine off your nose before he punches it.

He tries to strangle you with the film in his camera, but forgot he was shooting on digital.

He tries to hit you with his camera, but stops to berate a production assistant for wandering into the shot.

Fumble Message:

He throws a couple of punches, but they're stage punches, so they whiff harmlessly in front of your face. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Elfbutton.gifYou acquire an item: elf resistance button (40% chance)*
Celloshot.gifYou acquire an item: elven cellocello (?% chance)*
Cube.gifYou acquire an item: elven suicide capsule (?% chance)*

Occurs at Crimbo Town Toy Factory (2009).


  • One of the miss messages refers to an incident in February 2009 where actor Christian Bale yelled at the director of photography on the set of Terminator Salvation, as the director allegedly walked into his line of sight during filming.