Asiago, the Pastamancer is located in The League of Chef-Magi.
- As Pastamancer:
- "Ah, you must be the League's newest member! Welcome! I am Asiago, head Pastamancer within the League. I haven't got any tasks for you just now, but check back with me later on."
- On subsequent visits until Nemesis Quest:
- "Sorry, <Player Name>, but there's not much going on at the moment. Try back later."
- Getting assigned the Nemesis Quest, with Epic Weapon in inventory:
- "Ah, <Player Name>! It is good that you are here, for a dire situation is at hand -- evil is afoot!"
- "Well, which is it?" you ask. "A hand, or a foot?"
- "Yes yes, very witty. Don't interrupt, this is important. Our guild has been tasked with the safekeeping of an ancient artifact of terrible power. We have protected it for hundreds of years, but now the unthinkable has happened, and it has been stolen right from under our nose!"
- "From under your nose? I guess you should have kept a closer eye on it. Get it? Nose, eye, hand..."
- "Shut up. It is vital that you take this seriously, for the thief is none other than your Nemesis!"
- "...I have a Nemesis?"
- "You do now. See what happens when you spend all of your time cracking jokes? Unfortunately, you do not possess the power needed to defeat him at this time. It will be necessary for you to reconstruct the Legendary Epic Weapon of the Pastamancer, and the first step is to smith an Epic Weapon for yourself."
- "You mean like this one?" you ask, holding it up.
- "Well now, that's unexpectedly expedient of you. Here, I'll reimburse you for the smithing costs. However, the next step will be much more difficult. Once you're ready, proceed to The "Fun" House in the Nearby Plains and seek out The Clownlord Beelzebozo, the Clown Prince of Darkness. You must destroy him to acquire the final piece of the Legendary Epic Weapon. When it is completed, return to me. Make haste, <Player Name>!"
 | You gain 1,000 Meat. |
- "Ah, I see you have completed the Legendary Epic Weapon. Nicely done, and not a moment too soon, as I've just received word of where your Nemesis' lair is located -- a cave hidden in the Big Mountains. I'll note its location on your map for you. Use your utmost caution, for it is certain that traps and guards will abound. However, time is of the essence -- we need that artifact back before the unspeakable happens!"
- Upon defeating the Nemesis in the cave:
- "Greetings, <Player Name>. You have retrieved the artifact from your Nemesis, I hope?"
- "Yeah," you reply. "he had this hat."
- "That is not the artifact we're looking for. Is that all he had? This is most unfortunate. He must have a secret tropical island volcano lair or something similar, on which he's hidden the artifact. I will put our divination specialists to the task of locating it -- when I have more information for you, you will be contacted."
- Upon visiting before encountering any hitmen:
- "We have not located your Nemesis as yet. Rest assured that, when we do, you will be alerted immediately."
- After defeating thug/hitman/spaghetti:
- "Ah, <Player Name>, it is good to see you safe. There have been some notably disreputable-looking people inquiring about you."
- "Yeah, I had a run-in with some of them," you mutter darkly. "It looks like there's a price on my head."
- "Undoubtedly an attempt at revenge by your Nemesis. Unfortunately, he has somehow managed to defeat all attempts to locate him via magical means. We will continue our attempts, but in the meantime, please use the utmost caution."
- "Yeah, thanks."
- "Ah, <Player Name>, you've returned. And relatively unscathed, I am pleased to note. Are your Nemesis' assassins proving to be an ordeal?"
- "No," you reply, "I think I've seen the last of them, thankfully. Have a look at this -- I got it off of their leader." You hand over the secret tropical island volcano lair map.
- "It appears my earlier musings were justified -- it was a secret tropical volcano island after all. Interesting. ...It appears that you will need a ship to reach it, and a strong one at that, judging by the indicators on this map."
- "Right. I was hoping you could lend me one?"
- "Unfortunately, such a ship is not among our available resources, and none of our transportation specialists will have the requisite knowledge of your destination needed for a spell of teleportation. You will need to locate a ship through other channels."
- "That figures."
- After defeating your Nemesis:
- "Ah, <Player Name>! You have arrived at a fortuitous time! I have excellent news for you!"
- "I've got some pretty good news myself," you say, just a little smugly. "I've defeated my Nemesis once and for all!"
- "Have you? Marvellous!"
- "Yeah... Um, I really didn't see anything that looked like an artifact that's vitally important for the future of the world or anything, though..."
- "Ah, yes, the artifact. In fact, that is just what I wished to speak with you about. As it happens, we've located it."
- "... You located it?"
- "Indeed. It was discovered not to be missing after all. You see, Larry over there ("Hi," says Larry, waving) sent it out to be cleaned, and neglected to inform the rest of us."
- "..."
- "Dreadfully sorry about that. Larry's new. But anyway, it's been returned. And it would be remiss of me to allow that to overshadow your accomplishments in defeating your Nemesis! It will indeed nice to not have to worry about he any more."
- "...Yeah."
- "Allow me to compensate you for your trouble with some meat. I daresay you've earned yourself a good vacation, after all this!"
- "Thanks," you mutter dryly.
| You gain 6,000 Meat. |
- As Sauceror:
- On initial visit:
- "Hmm, you must be the new Sauceror. Gorgonzola's not doing too bad of a job, I guess."
- On subsequent visits after The Wizard of Ego is complete:
- "I haven't got time for questions from neophytes," scowls Asiago.
- On initial visit:
- Asiago looks up as you approach. "Hmm, the new Sauceror again. Come here, I may have use for you.
- Our kingdom was once home to a mighty wizard named Fernswarthy, a practicioner of unlicensed wild magic, specializing in the creation of magical beasts and constructs. He was killed several years ago and his tower destroyed, probably by one of his own creations. We want to search the ruins of his tower for any of his spellbooks and research notes that may remain, but alas, the tower is sealed tight.
- We believe that the key is buried with Fernswarthy in the Misspelled Cemetary, in the Nearby Plains. You already know where the Cemetary is, right? Find his remains, and bring me the key to the tower. Off you go, quickly now."
- On subsequent visits:
- Asiago looks up from a book he's reading. "Yes? Have you brought the key to Fernswarthy's tower? No?" He sighs. "I really cannot brook any delay on this. Fetch me that key, and don't dawdle."
- With Fernswarthy's key:
- "So, have you returned with Fernswarthy's key?" Asiago nods approvingly as you hand the key to him. "Well done. Perhaps there's some hope for you after all. Here's some meat for your trouble. Now, run along while I assemble a research team to investigate the tower."
- The visit after returning the key:
- "Ah, good, it's you again. It turned out that all our other guild members are too busy with their own research to investigate the ruins of Fernswarthy's tower, so against my better judgement I'm giving the responsibility to you." He returns the key you found earlier, and makes a note on your map. "Here's the location of Fernswarthy's tower, or what's left of it. We're quite certain that Fernswarthy's research notes must be somewhere in the remains of the tower. Find them, and bring them back to me."
- On subsequent visits:
- "I am a very busy man. Do not bother me until you have completed the task you've been assigned."
- With dusty old book:
- Asiago looks up from his reading as you approach him with the old book. "I see you've acquired a copy of the Manual of Transmission. Is that all you managed to find in the tower? Hmm. Well, I must say I'm not surprised. Run along now, I'll let you know if I need you for anything else."
