Another Adventure About BorderTown
You black out for a little while and wake up on the dusty streets of what definitely isn't The Seaside Town. You look to your north and see a big wall with barbed-wire running across the top -- looks like you're South of the Border!
You're wandering around the dilapidated (and depilitated) shacks of BorderTown, when you get the feeling that you're being watched. You turn and see an old lady staring at you intently. You duck down a few side streets, look behind you, and she's still there! You panic, start to run, and finally lose her in a crowded street market.
Having lost your old lady, you gather your lures and your bobbers and look for some entertainment. You see a wall with a bunch of flyers stuck to it, and see three events that look promising:
| Happy Hour at the Cantina Típica |
You wander into the Cantina Típica, hoping to cadge a few cheap drinks. "Hey, is it true it's always happy hour here?" you ask. "If it is, maybe I'll stay awhile."
The bartender nods, so you pull up a barstool next to a guy in a white cowboy hat, who is next to a guy in a black cowboy hat. You're about to order a drink when you catch something shiny out of the corner of your eye. You look to your left and see, hung from the ceiling, what is quite possibly the coolest hat you've ever seen.
It's a sombrero about four feet in diameter, made out of bright blue velvet. It's covered in silver braiding, bedecked with beads, and positively scintillating with sequins. "I must have that hat," you say to the bartender. "How much do you want for it?"
The bartender glances at the cowboy in the white hat, who shakes his head. "I am sorry, amigo," he says, "but that hat is for display only. It belongs to my amigo, here, the Sheriff."
"You're the Sheriff?" you say. "But you don't have a badge."
The Sheriff grunts noncommitally and orders another lukewarm beer. You stare longingly at the sombrero, seriously endangering your state of inebriation.
You wander into the Cantina Típica hoping to cadge a few cheap drinks. "Hey, is it true it's always happy hour here?" you ask. "If it is, maybe I'll stay awhile."
The bartender nods, so you pull up a barstool next to a guy in a white cowboy hat, who is next to a guy in a black cowboy hat. You're about to order a drink when you catch something shiny out of the corner of your eye. You look to your left and see, hung from the ceiling, what is quite possibly the coolest hat you've ever seen.
It's a sombrero about four feet in diameter, made out of bright blue velvet. It's covered in silver braiding, bedecked with beads, and positively scintillating with sequins. "I must have that hat," you say to the bartender. "How much do you want for it?"
The bartender glances at the cowboy in the white hat, who shakes his head. "I am sorry, amigo," he says, "but that hat is for display only. It belongs to my amigo, here, the Sheriff."
You turn to the white-hat cowboy. "You sure I couldn't, er, borrow it?"
"Sorry," he drawls. "That hat is for Sheriffs only."
"Ah, but I am a Sheriff," you say, proudly displaying your tin star.
"Ah, a fellow lawman!" the Sheriff says. "Barkeep! A new glass here for this new friend of mine -- er, forgive me, I forgot your name."
"That's okay," you say. "Believe me, I've had plenty to drink. All I really want is that hat."
"It's yours," the Sheriff says. "I mean, it's not like I actually wear it. I don't think anybody does." He nods to the bartender, who takes down the amazing sombrero and hands it to you.
 | You acquire an item: outrageous sombrero |
You wander into the Cantina, but there doesn't seem to be much going on. You decide wandering back out into the street and passing out in the gutter is just as good an idea.
| ¡Siesta Fiesta! |
You follow the directions on the flyer to the Siesta Fiesta. You arrive at the address on the poster, which looks like every other bombed-out, deserted building in BorderTown. You step inside cautiously, and say "Hey, I'm here for the --"
Something heavy and blunt crashes into your skull, sending you face-down into the dirt. You take a brief dirt nap.
 | You gain X hit points. |
 | You gain X Mana Points. |
| Gunfight at the Pretty Decent Corral |
You follow the map on the Gunfight poster and end up in a deserted back alley. A few tumbleweeds blow past, and a lonely whistle sounds a couple of notes, but nothing else is moving. You see a man sitting in the shade, sipping a lukewarm beer.
"Hey, when's the gunfight?" you ask.
"You missed it, gringo," he says. "The good guys and the bad guys -- well, they never work past noon around here, even if you promise them a fistful of meat, or a few meat more. You could probably find them in the Cantina Típica, though."
"Thanks," you say, and turn around to walk back to the flyer wall. You stub your toe on something in the dirt, bend down to see what it is, and pick up a shiny Sheriff's badge. Looks like one of the gunfighters dropped it.
 | You acquire an item: tin star |
You follow the map on the Gunfight poster and end up in a deserted back alley. A few tumbleweeds blow past, and a lonely whistle sounds a couple of notes, but nothing else is moving. You see a man sitting in the shade, sipping a lukewarm beer.
"Hey, when's the gunfight?" you ask.
"You missed it, gringo," he says. "The good guys and the bad guys -- well, they never work past noon around here, even if you promise them a fistful of meat, or a few meat more. You could probably find them in the Cantina Típica, though."
You come to the abrupt realization that you've been here before, and that you knew that the gunfight was over. Then you come to the abrupt realization that you've fallen down, and that you have a bloody nose.
| You lose 3 hit points. |
Notes
- Occurs during St. Sneaky Pete's Day Stupor on St. Sneaky Pete's Day XI.
- The text for "El Sombrero Del Caballero Es Tuyo" originally read:
- The bartender glances at the cowboy in the white hat, who shakes his head. "I am sorry, amigo," he says, "but that hat is for display only. It belongs to my amigo, here, the Sheriff."
- "Oh, you're the Sheriff?" you say. The cowboy nods laconically. "I think you dropped this back at the gunfight." You hand over the Tin Star.
- "Thanks, amigo!" the Sheriff says. "Barkeep! A new glass here for this new friend of mine -- er, forgive me, I forgot your name."
References
- "El Sombrero Del Caballero Es Tuyo" roughly means "The Horseman/Gentleman's Hat Is Yours"
- "Cantina Tipica" roughly equates to "Typical Tavern".
- The descriptions refer heavily to the song "Mexico" by The Refreshments:"Another song about Mexico", "I lost my old lady, got my lures, got my bobbers, now I'm gonna go" and "The good guys and the bad guys, well they never work past noon around here"
- "Is it true it's always happy hour here?"..."If it is, maybe I'll stay awhile." and "Barkeep! A new glass here for this new friend of mine -- er, forgive me, I forgot your name." refer to the song "Mekong" by The Resfreshments.
- "a fistful of meat, or a few meat more" refer to two Clint Eastwood westerns- "A Fistful of Dollars" and "A Few Dollars More"
- "Siesta Fiesta" means "nap party."
