Ancient protector spirit (The Hidden Bowling Alley)

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Ancient protector spirit
Monster ID 445
Locations The Hidden Bowling Alley
Hit Points 80
Attack 156
Defense 144
Initiative 10
Meat None
Phylum undead
Elements None
Resistance 100%
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso, ...wing?
Quest scorched stone sphere
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
ancient protector spirit You're fighting an ancient protector spirit

You return to the alley to bowl the last frame of your match against the red-eyed spectre. He gives you a haughty sneer while rubbing his blackened stone ball with a chamois, then steps up to the lane. He lifts the ball up to his glowing red eyes, licks it again (what the heck?), and then his arm swings back as he jogs forward. The ball roars down the lane with a rumble like a cavalry charge, and slams into the pins for a decisive strike.

He does his little dance of success again, and smirks at you as he reclaims his ball. You stare back at him, cool and unflappable, and gesture at the lane, inviting him to take his second roll. This obviously annoys him, and his next roll isn't quite as confident. The ball veers off course, taking out only four of the pins, but leaving him an easy spare.

He holds up his ball for his third and final roll, and takes a deep breath, at which point you ask, "Say, is it true about the eight-year-olds?"

His head snaps around. "What?!" he hisses angrily.

"Oh, just a rumor I heard. Never mind. Sorry, don't let me interrupt you."

The spirit's stride is less than smooth as he rolls his ball, and it slides into the gutter. He watches in quivering, burning-eyed fury as you pick up your ball and roll a strike, followed by a six, and then clean up the remaining four pins to beat him by three points.

"Well, will you look at that," you say, smirking just a little. "Must be beginner's luck!" You hold out your hand for a shake.

Ignoring your hand, the spirit picks up his bowling ball and holds it up as though planning to roll it again, but this time he's chanting some words you can't understand. He finishes with a scream of "Charcoatl!" and the ball bursts into flames.


or returning later:

"How dare you show your face in here again!" the bowling ghost hisses at you.

"Eight-year-olds, dude."


Hit Message(s):

The spirit shouts an invocation to Charcoatl, and the ball-return bombards you with flaming stone bowling balls. Ow! Oof! (hot damage)

The spirit clocks you in the head with his stone bowling ball. The pain is bad enough that you don't even notice that your hair is on fire. Ouch! Oof!

The spirit uses its ghostly claws to rip you a new one. A new what? Well, I'll leave it to your imagination. Ugh! Argh! (spooky damage)

The spirit uses Fire Spin! It's super-effective! Ugh! Ow! (hot damage)

Critical Hit Message:

The spirit raises his flaming bowling ball in the air, and roars with fury. Suddenly everything is on fire. Or maybe it just looks that way, because your eyeballs are on fire? Ugh! Ooh! (hot damage)

Miss Message(s):

The spirit shouts an invocation to Charcoatl, and you hear a scream from over at the alley's snack bar as the french-fryer explodes.

The spirit starts to swing his bowling ball at you, but you point out that his toe went over the foul line. This isn't 'Nam, there are rules.

The spirit tries to rip you a new one, but you decide you like the old one just fine.

The spirit uses Ember! It's not very effective...

Fumble Message:

The spirit charges at you, but slips due to the smooth soles of his bowling shoes. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Ss scorched.gifYou acquire an item: scorched stone sphere (100% chance)*
You gain ? <substat>.

Occurs after bowling five times in Life is Like a Cherry of Bowls.



  • The 'Fire Spin' and 'Ember' hit and miss messages are references to the Pokemon series, which the gods of the Hidden City are based on.
  • "This isn't 'Nam. There are rules" is about the Vietnam War and is a quote from The Big Lebowski.
    • The spirit itself, both in the messages leading up to the fight and during it, is a reference to Jesus Quintana from the same movie.