Ancient insane monk

Ancient insane monk
Monster ID	534
Locations	The Haiku Dungeon
Hit Points	6
Attack	4
Defense	3
No-Hit	14
Initiative	50
Meat	None
Phylum	dude
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, arm, leg, torso
	Drops Bash-Ōs cereal, bottle of sake
Quest	haiku challenge map
Pickpocket	little round pebble
Manuel	Fu Manchu Wax
Manuel Entry
	refreshedit data

This room is the home
of an ancient insane monk,
and you're trespassing.

Venerable monk,
as old as he is insane
and, like, twice as mean.

or

This studious monk
went nuts from contemplating
too many koans.

Hit Message(s):

Spring near a still pond
is nothing like this moment.
Your kidney gets stabbed.

He stops, meditates.
The sound of one hand smacking
you in the <thigh>.

Are you the Buddha?
You must be, because
this monk's killing you.

Herons by a lake
cannot prevent this attack
man, your elbow hurts.

Miss Message(s):

He swings, he misses.
In the distance, crickets chirp.
He walks off, pouting.

Herons by a lake
lilies in a limpid pool
(his attack just failed.)

All his attacks fail
like a n00bish grasshopper
he has much to learn.

"I'm not the buddha!"
The monk listens, considers,
doesn't attack you.

Spring near a still pond
is somewhat like this moment:
Neither one hurts you.

After Combat

Near you on the ground
is a Bash-Ōs cereal.
You hork it and jet.

(15% chance*)

Near you on the ground
is a bottle of sake.
You hork it and jet.

(25% chance*)

Near you on the ground
is a haiku challenge map.
You hork it and jet.

Notes

Using Pickpocket on this monster may yield a little round pebble from about 55% of pickpocket attempts.

"I'm not the buddha!"
The monk listens, considers,
doesn't attack you.

refers to the Buddhist saying "If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him."