|When combat occurs in The Suburbs of Dis|
The messages rhyme, and they're metered like this.
|When fighting elsewhere, there's one thing you can do,|
Just the Best Anapests brings the rhymes out to you!
- 1 Losing Initiative
- 2 Gaining Initiative
- 3 Player Messages
- 3.1 Pickpocketing
- 3.2 Weapon Attacks
- 3.3 Receiving Damage
- 3.4 Skill Messages
- 3.5 Using Entangling Noodles
- 3.6 Jiggling a Chefstaff
- 3.7 Casting Summon Mayfly Swarm
- 3.8 Other Successful Skill Usage
- 3.9 Summoning Pasta Guardians
- 3.10 Combat Items
- 3.11 HP Gain
- 3.12 MP Gain
- 3.13 MP Loss
- 3.14 Running Away or Banishing
- 4 Familiar Messages
- 5 Enemy messages
- 6 End of Combat
- 6.1 Losing the Fight
- 6.2 Fight ends
- 6.3 Winning the Fight
- 6.4 Gaining Substats
- 6.5 Overkilling Hobos in Hobopolis Town Square
- 6.6 Getting Meat
- 6.7 Item Drops
- 6.8 Gaining HP or MP
- 6.9 Cold-Blooded Warm Fuzzies
- 7 Other
- 8 Notes
- 9 References
|You thought you were fast, but your foe's a bit faster.|
Let's hope this won't turn out to be a disaster.
|You weren't quick enough -- your foe gets the jump,|
and prepares to convert you to jelly and lumps.
|Who got the jump? Oh please, who, tell me, who?|
It wasn't your foe, so it must have been you!
|You leap into combat, as quick as a wink,|
attacking the monster before he can blink!
|Your foe is so slow! So slow is your foe!|
Much slower than you, who are ready to go!
Successfully Pickpocketing an item
|You gaffler! Pick-pocket! Sneaker and snaker!|
You crept up behind them and took like a taker!
|You sneak up to your foe and take a look in their pocket,|
then give them a reason, someday, to restock it.
Failing to Pickpocket an item
|Please don't accuse me of wounding your pride,|
but nothing much came of that thing that you tried.
|You pull out your weapon and swing at your foe,|
and cause a measly X damage with a light, glancing blow.
|You swing at the foe with your sword (or whatever),|
and deal X damage in this violent endeavor.
|You leap at your foe in a violent blitz,|
and cut off XX hit points worth of bits.
|You swing with your weapon; your foe takes the hit!|
XX points damage must sting quite a bit!
|You do XXX points, and hit your foe in the belly,|
making it splash like a bag full of jelly.
|Your enemy comes off as kind of a klutz,|
with XXX points worth of steel in their guts.
|You hack at your foe XXXX times more.|
They'll need a broom to get all of the bits off the floor.
|Your weapon removes XXXX HP|
from your foe in a violent murdering spree.
|Your foe takes some damage; it looks a bit painful.|
Perhaps that will teach it to be so disdainful.
|You ready your weapon, and lunge to attack,|
wounding your foe with a chop and a hack.
|You leap at your foe with a shout, and you hit!|
I don't think it enjoyed that, not one little bit.
|You strike your foe hard with a thing made for fighting --|
who knew that violence could be this exciting?
|A cottony puff from a Cotton-Puff Peppin|
would cause as much harm as you just did with your weapon.
|I don't wish to discourage, not one little bit,|
but that attack you just made doesn't seem to have hit.
|You perform a most fearsome attack at your foe,|
but did it connect? I'm sorry, but no.
|With prowess to spare and an eye analytical|
You deal out a critical hit that is Critical!
|You jump at the monster, and slip past its guard!|
You swing at it fiercely, and hit it QUITE HARD!
|The Vorkers who Vork in the Vasty Voovusvid|
Have never hit anything hard as you just did!
|One hit! Two hits! RED HITS! You hit!|
|You fumble your weapon -- it lands on your bung!|
It hurts worse than the sting of a bee that has stung!
|Your weapon falls down to the floor 'midst the clutter,|
What's wrong with you? Are your hands coated in butter?
|You take out your weapon . . . wait, where did it go?|
In answer, it lands with a CRUNCH on your toe.
|You lose hold of your weapon; it falls to the ground.|
The monster laughs cruelly, a terrible sound.
|Your weapon falls onto the floor with a clatter,|
making the fight a more difficult matter.
|The pain of X damage puts a crease on your brow|
and the Word of the Day has turned out to be 'Ow'.
|You took X points of hurt, which could have been worse.|
You probably don't need to look for a nurse.
|I don't want to shock you with depictions of gore,|
but you just dripped X points worth of blood on the floor.
|You took XX damage -- not just to your pride,|
but also to what keeps your insides inside.
|The violent impact shakes your skull with a thud,|
and you lose XX points worth of valuable blood.
|The pain of the blow's like a punch to the guts|
and you take XX damage -- no ifs, ands or buts.
|You got hurt quite a lot! XXX full HP!|
The sight of your guts isn't pleasant to see!
|XXX points of health have been cut from your hide --|
it's safe to say more has been hurt than your pride.
|It seems that you've lost XXX points of health.|
I hope you've been saving, so you'll still have your wealth.
|The way that you're leaking your various juices,|
I'd say that few things are as cooked as your goose is.
|I couldn't quite tell how much damage you took;|
it seemed pretty brutal, so I didn't look.
|You don't look so hot -- I might say I've seen worse,|
but instead of a cab, they should call you a hearse.
Unsuccessfully Using a Skill
|Please don't accuse me of wounding your pride,|
but nothing much came of that thing that you tried.
|Well now, my friend -- that skill that you tried?|
If I told you that it couldn't fail... I lied.
Dealing Damage via a Skill
|You demonstrate a slick combat maneuver|
that's effective as a X hit point remover.
|Your show off your learning of things that you've learned.|
X damage? Not much, but no amount can be spurned.
|A trick kept up your metaphorical sleeve|
takes XX hit points from your enemy, Steve.
|You bust out a move that is sure to impress,|
and your foe suffers XX points worth of distress.
|You show off some things that you've learned about fighting --|
XXX points of damage is pretty exciting!
|Your skill just did XXX damage! Oh yes!|
If only your teachers could see your prowess.
|You roll up a sleeve, prepare a skill for the skilling,|
and do so much damage, it's hopefully killing.
Dealing Damage via a Spell
|Shout "Alakazam!" and "Abracadabra!"|
Your spell did X damage, so how does that grab ya?
|I don't know, man -- this monster looks tough.|
Do you think that X damage from spells is enough?
|You summon up power until the earth shakes,|
and XX HP's how much damage he takes.
|XXX damage from mystical spells|
explodes quite a few of your enemy's cells.
|Determined to prove to this foe who's the boss,|
you cause XXX damage with pasta (or sauce).
|Raising your hands, you call, not meteor showers,|
but equally-damaging, if much weirder, powers.
|The magic you launched at your foe overflowed,|
and made some of hiss internal organs explode.
Using Entangling Noodles
|You waggle your fingers and cast some sort of spell.|
I think that it worked, but what it did, I can't tell.
Jiggling a Chefstaff
|You hold up your staff and you give it a shake!|
Some magic things happen, but just what is... opaque.
Casting Summon Mayfly Swarm
|You summon a small swarm of mayflies, with bait,|
They do something obscure that is probably great.
|Some mayflies respond to your summoning call,|
and do something -- but what? You can't tell that at all.
Other Successful Skill Usage
|You use a skill -- it isn't a damaging one,|
but skills don't have to cause pain to be fun.
Summoning Pasta Guardians
- Undead elbow macaroni
|With a mystical gesture and thunderous bellow,|
you summon a friendly pastacular fellow.
Dealing Damage via Combat Items
|You hurl a thing that you took from your pack,|
and deal X points with a thingly attack.
|Your foe squints at a thing you hold up to hiss eyes,|
and takes XX points from a poky surprise.
|You fling a thing with your flinger; it flies at your foe!|
XXX damage results from the blow!
|You caused so much pain with that thing from your pack,|
that even you winced at the sound of the smack!
Other Combat Item Usage
|You used a thing from your bag, and something happened, I guess!|
I can't give you much detail, I must confess.
|Activating an item caused something to happen!|
What? I don't know. I guess you caught me napping.
|You've got X more hit points than you had before!|
Now go out and fight and get off of the floor!
|You heal X points worth of your cuts and abrasions,|
You earned on a number of violent occasions.
|You heal X hit points, which may not be a lot,|
But let's face it, right now, it's the best that you've got.
|You've gained XX hitpoints, and feel a lot better.|
Go out there and get 'em, you going go-getter!
|You've been beat up and beat down and beat sideways, too,|
But you heal XX hitpoints, and you feel less blue.
|You were starting to feel a bit down in the dumps,|
but those XX HP should help clear up the lumps.
|With XXX hitpoints added onto your score,|
you're raring to go and you're ready for more!
|You apply a fresh bandage to stop blood from spurting,|
and regenerate XXX points worth of hurting.
|You heal a few damage -- not much, I'll admit,|
but the hitpoints you've added will help you a bit.
|You healed some HP and you feel right as rain --|
are you ready to go back and lose it again?
|You've just gotten X of your MP restored!|
Now you can show all those creeps what you've learned!
|Magical energy floods into your veins!|
Not a whole lot -- X points -- but it's good for your brains.
|You regain XX MP of mystical fuel,|
and prepare to escort some more monsters to school.
|Your MP's restored, it's now XX points higher.|
Now you can set some more monsters on fire!
|XXX MP should add spring to your step,|
and lift up your spirits with gusto and pep!
|Your MP just went up by XXX quarts!|
(I'm not sure how you measure amounts of this sort.)
|A bunch of MP surges into your bowels|
with mystical whooping and hooting and howls.
|With wings on your heels, you run and take flight,|
escaping the monster and leaving the fight.
|There's no relaxing for you yet today|
you tried to escape, but did not get away.
|A grin from your pet makes you feel more than thrilled,|
Because it implies that you're getting more skilled.
|A smile from your buddy, your heart fills with joy,|
You're getting experience, so don't be coy!
|Your pet smiles quite broadly, as if to say,|
"Congrats! You have learned something useful today."
|Your pet indicates, with a grin of its grinner,|
that it thinks you to be quite a winningful winner.
|Your pet gives a smile (even if it lacks lips),|
And it gives you a cheer with a couple Hip, Hips!
|Your pet indicates, with a wink of its eye,|
that there might be more meat to find here, if you try.
|Your pet gives a nod and one-half of a blink --|
a gesture more commonly known as a 'wink'.
|Your buddy winks at you, not trying to be fresh,|
Just showing you where to find currency-flesh.
|Your familiar nods sagely and tips you a wink,|
and helps you find meat just as quick as you blink.
|Your pet does a tango, a jig, and a waltz,|
to help you get profit from recent assaults.
|With a twist and a twirl, a flitter and flutter,|
your pet dances brightly, a fly made of butter.
|Your buddy does dances, it spins and it twirls!|
It finds extra riches for good boys and girls!
|A shimmy, a swirl, a twist, and a hop,|
your familiar does dances to make items drop.
|Your familiar spins 'round and it cuts up the rug,|
doing a quick miniature jitterbug.
|Your familiar makes the foe weaker somehow,|
so you give it a pat, and it gives you a bow.
|Your familiar does something to make the foe weak,|
which should help with the havoc that you want to wreak.
|Your familiar grabs hold of the monster -- holds tight,|
which keeps it from taking its turn in this fight.
|Your familiar entangles the monster with vines|
(or tentacles, webbing, or noodles, or spines).
|Your familiar grabs hold, restraining your foe,|
and doesn't appear to want to let go.
|Your pet grabs a foe in a wrestling lock,|
holding him still so you can clean his clock.
|Can the monster attack you this round? Nope, nope nope!|
That's because of your buddy, that cute little dope.
|From violence, familiars will rarely abstain,|
Yours leaps into the fight, dealing X points of pain.
|"Go beat up our foes, little friend! Do it quickly!"|
So your friend beats on him, doing X damage, slickly.
|Your friend shouts "Wahoo!" and leaps into the fight!|
It does X points of damage, not great, but all right!
|Your little friend's limber and loose in the joints,|
It leaps on your foe and hits him for X points!
|Like the Boofers that live on the Isle of Buprate,|
Your little friend does XX damage! That's great!
|Your familiar hits hard as the Snoofle-snuff-snub!|
He can do XX damage, and that ain't bad, bub!
|Your familiar leaps into the fray with a shout|
It does XX damage and makes your foe pout!
|Like the Grumbery birds on the Isle of Berblatt,|
Your familiar hits XXX times, just like that!
|Your buddy beats on him XXX times,|
This next part says nothing at all! It just rhymes!
|Well wazzle-dee-hoo and hip-hip hooray!|
Your familiar did XXX damage today!
|Your pet takes a bite that inflicts quite a mark,|
and does XXX damage just like a big shark!
|Your buddy shreds him like a box full of tissues!|
Perhaps it has got some untreated rage issues?
|Your familiar jumps forward; the monster is caught!|
The damage your little friend does? Quite a lot!
|As your pet chews its leg, your foe looks distraught.|
Perhaps you should feed it more often. ...Or not.
|Your familiar did something to help in your plight,|
but you were distracted, with monsters to fight.
|Your pet did a thing; I don't know what it did.|
Perhaps it went skiing, or huggled a squid?
|Your pet did a thing; I didn't see it, did you?|
I guess it just did what they usually do.
|Your familiar did something, just what I'm not sure.|
Did it pick you a flower, or spit on the floor?
|Your pet did a thing that might just save the day,|
I'm afraid you were looking the opposite way.
|Your pet gains a pound! Watch it leap up and flex!|
Its body can cash all its ego-writ checks!
|Your pet gains a pound! But don't fret; it can hustle!|
It's putting on weight, but it's surely all muscle.
|Your pet just got heavier, fatter and fitter!|
It certainly wasn't the runt of the litter!
|You looked over beside you, and guess what you found!|
It seems your familiar has just gained a pound!
|Your cute little pet seems a little less little --|
It seems that it's put on some weight (just a tittle).
|Looks like your familiar has put on some weight!|
Its abilities now will be even more great!
|A monster approaches, and doesn't look pleasant.|
I doubt that he's looking to give you a present.
|A monster attacks! Not a Long-Toothed Bazooter,|
but something that, frankly, isn't all that much cuter.
|A monster jumps out of some nebulous place,|
and makes an attempt at removing your face!
|A terrible monster escaped from the zoo!|
It's ugly and mean and it's coming for you!
|Another opponent steps into the light!|
I hope that you're ready, because: Round 1 -- Fight!
|The monster jumps at you, but you're quick on your feet,|
and escape with no harm to your personal meat.
|The enemy's quick to attack, but you're quicker,|
and as you dodge past him, you chortle and snicker.
|The enemy makes an attack, but you block it.|
Parrying's handy -- 'til you've tried it, don't knock it.
|The enemy leaps to attack you, but misses,|
and angrily pouting, glares at you and hisses.
|Your foe thinks your teeth would look better dislodged,|
but as he attacks you, you (get out of) dodge.
|Your foe thinks he's going to show you what for,|
but the place he attacks -- you aren't there any more.
|The monster does something that wasn't expected;|
I can't say exactly how you've been affected.
- Versus a cold hobo's icicles:
|A long pointy icicle fell from the sky.|
(You saw it before it impaled your eye.)
Dealing Passive or Counter-Attack Damage
Enemy Is Stunned
|The monster seems stunned (or confused, or entangled)|
because of the skills you've so skillfully wrangled.
End of Combat
Losing the Fight
|You lost the fight -- it seems like a terrible crime,|
but don't worry, buddy, you'll do better next time.
|The fight has ended.|
Not victory, not defeat,
just intense boredom.
|Seasons change swiftly.|
Well, swiftly compared to you.
Next time, fight faster.
Winning the Fight
|The beast falls to the ground, 'cause you've taught it a lesson!|
It won't feel good in the morning, I'm guessin'.
|The monster explodes in a shower of gore!|
(Not really, he just kind of falls on the floor.)
|That monster, at first, seemed to be pretty tough,|
but however much damage you did, it's enough.
|With tail between legs, the beast flees from the fight!|
You defeated your foe and have proven your might!
|Your foe lies defeated by your beatings and grapples,|
and you ask him "So, whadda think of them apples?"
|Your strengthliness went up by X points! Hooray!|
Now find something else to beat up on today.
|With those X extra substats of strength that you found,|
it won't be much longer 'till muscles abound!
|Your muscles swell up, about XX points worth,|
making them slightly more robust in girth.
|With XX additional muscle substats,|
you'll soon give what-for to these villainous prats.
|Your strengthliness increases XXX times|
from exacting revenge for that foe's heinous crimes.
|With XXX points added onto your muscle,|
you'll soon show these monsters the meaning of "tussle".
|The bullies won't kick sand in your face any longer,|
once they find out you're XXXX points stronger!
Gaining a Muscle Point
|Your muscles are musclier than ever before!|
How much do you bench, dude? Now it's one more!
Gaining Mysticality substats:
|You've got X points more brains than a moment ago!|
In the words of the immortal poet: like, woah.
|X points of knowledge drip into your head.|
It tickles, like when you eat paint made of lead.
|Your brain just got XX points larger and crinklier!|
(Not everything slows down as it becomes wrinklier.)
|You've realized XX new realizations,|
attuning you further to mystic vibrations.
|You've gained XXX new points of magical skill!|
This occult education continues to thrill!
|XXX points of magic flow into your cells!|
Soon you'll be spellcasting much spellier spells!
Gaining a Mysticality Point
|You're a whiz of a wizard! Your brain just got brainier!|
All of your sweet arcane knowledge -- arcanier!
|Your third eye's wide open, a mystical locus,|
You're feeling a boost in your hocus and pocus!
Gaining Moxie Substats
|You've gained X points more chutzpah! You're quick as a snake!|
A dashing, and charming, and debonair rake!
|You're X points more sneaky than you were before!|
Are you already planning your next big-league score?
|You've learned a few tricks -- now you're XX points trickier!|
(And now situations get XX points stickier.)
|Your roguishness increased by leaps and by bounds!|
Well, just XX points, but the interest compounds.
|You're a thief in the shadows, a ninja at night!|
You're XXX moxiousness slyer, all right!
|You're XXX points more sarcastic! That's great!|
No, really! It's super! I'm telling it straight!
|You're slick as a snake and as quiet as mice!|
XXXX points moreso now, to be precise.
|XXXX points earned toward some new moxie|
is making you feel increasingly foxy.
Gaining a Moxie Point
|Your moxie went up a whole point on this day!|
In the words of the coolest of cool, I say, "Ayyyyy."
|Your moxie went up! Now you're slicker and faster!|
At charming the ladies (or dudes), you're a master!
|The tootlers tootle! The singers all sing!|
You've accomplished a wonderful, glorious thing!
Come raise a glass high, and come join in the revel!
We're all celebrating! You went up a level!
Overkilling Hobos in Hobopolis Town Square
|You found XX meat -- not a massive amount,|
but each little bit helps to pad your account.
|If XXX meat makes you smile with greed,|
well, that's how much you found, so feel free to proceed.
|If you'd like to go shopping, go ahead, because you're|
XXX meat richer than you were before.
|That's XXX meat! Now how will you spend it?|
On candy? Or liquor? Or a blender to blend it?
|Here's XXXX more meat for your purse.|
Have you got any debts that you should reimburse?
|You've just earned yourself XXXX more meat!|
When you spend it, remember to get a receipt.
|You found so much meat, your grin's wider than wide!|
Like a smiler with smiles all smiling inside!
|Just look at this meat -- there's too much to count!|
How will you spend such a crazy amount?
|You found XXX meat worth of meat, so there's that.|
Perhaps you could purchase a new party hat.
|You'd discovered a X! What a wonderful thing!|
Just think of the happiness that it will bring!
|Hey, what is that? A X on the ground?|
I guess it was lost, but now it's been found!
|You rescue an X from the local street-sweepers.|
It's not really yours, but well, hey, finders keepers!
|It looks like you've found a new XX -- that's great!|
I expect you won't mind the additional weight.
|A XX! You found it right here on the floor!|
Keep adventuring, maybe you'll find a few more!
|This XX you found is the real McCoy!|
The discovery makes you all smiley with joy!
|It looks like you've found a new XXX--that's great!|
I expect you won't mind the additional weight.
|You find a XXX; it goes in your pack.|
Someday, it might help you to lay down the smack.
|Hey, look! A XXX! You've discovered some loot!|
The crowd shouts "Hurrah!" and the trumpets go "Toot!"
|You added an XXX to your collection!|
No booty will escape your careful inspection!
|What good is a XXXX? What's it for?|
Oh well, that question never stopped you before.
|A XXXX! It goes in your bag,|
with all of the rest of your ludicrous swag.
|A XXXX -- do you take it, or leave it?|
Just kidding! Leave treasure? I can hardly conceive it.
|You found a XXXX -- what an odd thing to find!|
Best pick it up before you change your mind.
|This XXXX is obviously yours --|
you can tell by the way it's not nailed to the floor.
|You found a new item! Can you guess what it is?|
(A XXXX is the key to this quiz.)
|You trip on a XXXXX that's here.|
Best pick it up fast, or it might disappear.
|You find a new thing; it goes into your pack|
with the rest of the various weird bric-a-brac.
|You discover an item that someone forgot,|
throw it into your pack and take off like a shot.
|You picked up a thing that you found on the floor.|
Your pack is quite full, but there's room for one more.
|You found a thing, but I don't quite know what it is.|
A trumpet to trumple? A whizzer to whizz?
|You picked up an item and stashed it away,|
assuming that it will be handy some day.
|You notice an item with eagle-like eyes,|
and jump to get dibs on this shiny new prize.
|That fight was intense, so you stop for a breather,|
and wonder what's next? (I guess I don't know either.)
|You can't quite decide what to do with this bum,|
so you take a few moments to twiddle your thumbs.
|You twiddle your thumbs, you twiddle your toes.|
You twiddle your liver and tonsils and nose.
Gaining an Effect (Other than via a Disco Combo)
|Some kind of effect's been applied! What a buzz!|
Better click on the icon and see what it does.
Item Stolen by Dolphin (Underwater)
|An item does drop,|
But the water slows you down,
A dolphin takes it.
|When you see XXX in the rhymes on this page,|
know each X is a syllable, earning its wage.
|With plurals of things the rhyme's not particular;|
Many items will drop, but the diction stays singular.
|Wikipedia has all the news you can use|
about anapests, flues, and the St. Louis Blues.
- One of the critical hit messages is a reference to the Dr.Seuss book One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish.
|Combat messages - edit|
|Haiku combat | Anapest combat | Deep Machine combat | Player Hit Messages|