Actually Ed the Undying (adventure)

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Actually Ed the Undying
Actually Ed the Undying

It took a really long time to knit all your bones back together. You aren’t sure how long exactly -- over the eons, you’ve lost the ability to accurately judge the length of a period of time, unless you actually count the seconds, and that’s boring -- but it was a long, annoying process, and you stand up with a groan and dust off your battered crown.

Damn, damn, damn. How did this get screwed up so badly? All your security and defenses and concealment, and some stupid adventurer just waltzes right in and takes the Holy MacGuffin. Way to go, Ed. Good job, bud.

Head Upstairs

You head upstairs and grumpily regard the charred remains of your Seaside Town model. It’s a real tragic loss, is what that is -- it took you years to make that model. All that time spent squinting through a magnifying glass, whittling matchsticks with an x-acto knife, gone right up in smoke. Still, at least building a new one will give you something to do for the next couple decades. After you hunt down that adventurer and get back the Holy MacGuffin. Man, you are really ticked about that. Burn down your Seaside Town model AND steal the Holy MacGuffin? What a jackass! What was that stupid jackass's name, anyway? <playername>? Some dumb jackass name like that.

You give the ashes a kick, and discover your staff underneath them, where the adventurer left it. You pick it up and dust it off with a grimace. Perhaps the actual Seaside Town would be a good place to start looking for that stupid dumb crapsack jackass adventurer.

Staffofed.gifYou acquire an item: Staff of Ed

If a player owns The Crown of Ed the Undying:

As you're leaving, you grab your hat from its hook on the wall. At least there's one thing that jerk didn't loot.

Nemes.gifYou acquire an item: The Crown of Ed the Undying

Occurs when starting a run as Actually Ed the Undying.