Accordion Thief

From TheKolWiki
Jump to: navigation, search

Male Female Tattoo Hardcore Tattoo Hardcore Oxygenarian Tattoo Legendary Regalia Tattoo Legendary Regalia Female Legendary Regalia Male


  • (Male) The scourge of mariachis and polka bands, the Accordion Thieves have plied their malign craft since time out of mind. Their Moxie serves them well in both their adventures and their interactions with "the ladies."
  • (Female) The scourge of mariachis and polka bands, the Accordion Thieves have plied their malign craft since time out of mind. Their Moxie serves them well in both their adventures and their interactions with "the gentlemen."


Most Accordion Thief skills are learned from The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts. All Accordion Thieves begin the game with Moxie of the Mariachi and Sing. Accordion Thieves can also learn special skills from sheet music dropped by the Hobopolis bosses.

Level Skill Description Effect Type MP Cost Train Cost
0 Accordion.gif
Moxie of the Mariachi
By diligently practicing playing the accordion at your campsite, you can channel the Moxie of the Mariachi -- your Moxie and Maximum HP will increase for a period of time. Mariachi Mood
(+1 Moxie, +3 HP)
(5 Adventures)
Non-combat 1 N/A
0 Breath.gif
You know that thing from old commercials where somebody sings and breaks a champagne glass? This skill lets you do that, except with skulls. Deals 2-3 damage on use, and 2-3 damage for the following two rounds. Combat 0 N/A
1 Madrigal.gif
The Moxious Madrigal
Hearing this song will fill you (or somebody else) with great Moxie. The Moxious Madrigal
(+10 Moxie)
(X Adventures)
Buff 2 125 Meat
1 Brokenflute.gif
Dissonant Riff
You might think that accordions can only make beautiful sounds, but you're wrong -- they can make annoying sounds, too. Damages and weakens your opponent Combat 2 125 Meat
2 Mojomusc.gif
The Magical Mojomuscular Melody
This song will attune you (or somebody else) with your (or somebody else's) spirituality (hippy) and increase your (or somebody else's) Mysticality and maximum MP. The Magical Mojomuscular Melody
(+10 Mysticality and +20 MP)
(X Adventures)
Buff 3 250 Meat
2 Cadenza.gif
Combat, like music, relies on the ability to improvise. This skill lets you improvise a specialized musical combat use for any accordion you care to wield. Unleash your accordion's unique inner strength (usable once per fight) Combat 0 250 Meat
3 Celerity.gif
Cletus's Canticle of Celerity
Upon hearing this song, you (or somebody else) will begin to move very quickly, and with improved combat reaction times. Cletus's Canticle of Celerity
(+20% Combat Initiative)
(X Adventures)
Buff 4 500 Meat
3 Crabclaw.gif
Crab Claw Technique
You have developed an unstoppable personalized accordion-playing technique. You say unto your foes: "Here is my accordion. Welcome to Hell." Makes your accordion attacks significantly more accurate Passive N/A 500 Meat
4 Arrowsmith.gif
The Power Ballad of the Arrowsmith
This song will fill you (or somebody else) with passionate intensity, and great Strengthliness. Your (or somebody else's) Muscle and maximum HP will be increased. Power Ballad of the Arrowsmith
(+10 Muscle and +20 HP)
(X Adventures)
Buff 5 750 Meat
4 Accordionbash.gif
Accordion Bash
The best defense is a good offense, and the best offense is a heavy accordion. Stun an opponent by hitting them with your accordion Combat 5 750 Meat
5 Plenty.gif
The Polka of Plenty
This song will fill you (or somebody else) with greed, and make more Meat drop from monsters in combat. Polka of Plenty
(+50% Meat from Monsters)
(X Adventures)
Buff 7 1,250 Meat
5 Acc17.gif
Accordion Appreciation
A lot of people hate accordions, and a few people tolerate them, but almost nobody truly, truly loves them like you do. And the thing about accordions is that if you love them, they love you back. Double-strength enchantments on accordions Passive N/A 1,250 Meat
6 Jackasses.gif
Jackasses' Symphony of Destruction
This horrible song will make whoever hears it very angry. And anger, in this case, will correspond with increased melee, ranged and spell damage. Jackasses' Symphony of Destruction
(+12 Weapon and Spell Damage)
(X Adventures)
Buff 9 1,750 Meat
6 Cdlm.gif
Concerto de los Muertos
Few instruments are as haunting as the accordion. Especially the haunted accordion. Deals Spooky Damage over a few rounds (usable once per fight) Combat 8 1,750 Meat
7 Fatleons.gif
Fat Leon's Phat Loot Lyric
Upon hearing this song, the listener will be imbued with superior looting skills - monsters will drop items more frequently in combat. Fat Leon's Phat Loot Lyric
(+20% Items from Monsters)
(X Adventures)
Buff 11 2,500 Meat
7 Dollarsign.gif
Five Finger Discount
You know what's cooler than paying a million Meat for something? Paying nine hundred and fifty thousand Meat for it. Items in stores cost 5% less Meat Passive N/A 2,500 Meat
8 Brawnees.gif
Brawnee's Anthem of Absorption
Upon hearing this song, you (or somebody else) will gain a strange absorbency. Monsters will do less damage to you (or somebody else) in combat. Brawnee's Anthem of Absorption
(floor(level1.2) Damage Reduction)
(X Adventures)
Buff 13 3,250 Meat
8 Susgaze.gif
Suspicious Gaze
The best way to avoid suspicion is to head it off at the pass by being suspicious of everybody else. That's also the best way to avoid getting jumped in a dark alley. Non-combat 10 3,250 Meat
9 Psalm.gif
The Psalm of Pointiness
And lo, unto the audience shall be conjured an aura of pointiness, and verily shalt those who attack the audience be poked as though with legion pointy objects. Psalm of Pointiness
(Delevels 1 to 5 Monster Level and causes 4-8 enemy damage when player is hit)
(X Adventures)
Buff 15 4,000 Meat
9 Bawdyrefrain.gif
Bawdy Refrain
Nothing makes you as popular with your friends or as unpopular with your enemies as a thorough repertoire of ribald songs. Deal Sleaze Damage to your opponent Combat 11 4,000 Meat
10 Superiority.gif
Stevedave's Shanty of Superiority
This song will impart upon its listener a sense of righteous indignation. This indignation will manifest as a 10% increase in all of the listener's stats. Stevedave's Shanty of Superiority
(+10% to All Attributes)
(X Adventures)
Buff 30 5,000 Meat
10 Thiefeyes.gif
Thief Among the Honorable
Y'know, you just... enjoy stealing stuff. And you're good at it! +5% Items from Monsters
+10% Meat from Monsters
Passive N/A 5,000 Meat
11 Antiphon.gif
Aloysius' Antiphon of Aptitude
This song makes it so you (or another player) learn more from your combat experiences, and gain more stats from battles. Aloysius' Antiphon of Aptitude
(+1 Muscleboundness, +1 Enchantedness, +1 Sarcasm per fight)
(X Adventures)
Buff 40 6,250 Meat
11 Stickygloves.gif
Sticky Fingers
It's amazing the kinds of things you can find if you constantly rifle through other peoples' stuff. Pickpocketing also gives Meat Passive N/A 6,250 Meat
12 Odetobooze.gif
The Ode to Booze
This is the best song ever. Whoever hears this song will gain a remarkable ability to drink, and will gain more adventures from alcoholic beverages. Ode to Booze
(+1 Adventure per drunkenness gained)
(X Adventures)
Buff 50 7,500 Meat
12 Zydecone.gif
Cone of Zydeco
You've learned how to use an accordion to focus Zydeco into a powerful cone of force -- a Zydecone, if you will. It's especially effective against groups of enemies, because nobody hates Zydeco as much as crowds do. Delivers a blast of Zydeco damage to your foes Combat 15 7,500 Meat
13 Sonata.gif
The Sonata of Sneakiness
Hearing this song will imbue the listener with astounding obfuscative abilities, and make them less likely to encounter monsters while adventuring. The Sonata of Sneakiness
(Reduces Combat Frequency)
(X Adventures)
Buff 20 10,000 Meat
13 Moneybag.gif
Master Accordion Master Thief
You're better at stealing than you are at playing the accordion, and you are damn good at playing the accordion. +10% Pickpocket Chance Passive N/A 10,000 Meat
14 Cantata.gif
Carlweather's Cantata of Confrontation
Hearing this song will increase the listener's production of anger pheromones. Monsters will be more attracted to them. Carlweather's Cantata of Confrontation
(Increases Combat Frequency)
(X Adventures)
Buff 20 12,500 Meat
14 Coolsmile.gif
Knowing Smile
Smile, and the whole world smiles with you, because the whole world has no idea why you're smiling. Non-combat 10 12,500 Meat
15 Urkels.gif
Ur-Kel's Aria of Annoyance
This song generates an aura of intense annoyingness around anyone who hears it. The aura makes monsters want to hit the possessor much, much harder. Ur-Kel's Aria of Annoyance
(+2 Monster Level per level of listener)
(X Adventures)
Buff 30 15,000 Meat
15 Mariachimem.gif
Mariachi Memory
Your ability to have songs stuck in your head knows no bounds. Or at least slightly fewer bounds than average. You can hold an extra Accordion Thief song in your head Passive N/A 15,000 Meat
Spookyraven Manor Quest Skill
N/A Dirge.gif
Dirge of Dreadfulness
This song is depressing. Not in a melancholy, I-haven't-heard-this- since-way-back-when way, but in a soul-crushing hopelessness way. Seriously. Sad, sad song. Dirge of Dreadfulness
(+12 Spooky Damage)
(+12 Damage to Spooky Spells)
(X Adventures)
Buff 9 N/A
Hobopolis Skills
N/A Richie.gif
The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder
This song tells the story of Richie Thingfinder, the luckiest hobo in the world. Playing this for somebody is sure to rub some of that luck off onto them, making them more likely to find items and Meat. The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder
(+50% Meat from Monsters)
(+20% Items from Monsters)
(X Adventures)
Buff 50 N/A
N/A Medley.gif
Benetton's Medley of Diversity
This medley teaches an important lesson -- that monsters come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colors, but in the big picture, they're all equally evil. Benetton's Medley of Diversity
(+15 Hot, Cold, Stench, Sleaze, and Spooky damage)
(X Adventures)
Buff 50 N/A
N/A Etude.gif
Elron's Explosive Etude
Playing this song for somebody will fill their head with unstable magic energy, making their spells far more powerful than they would ordinarily be. And far more delicious. Elron's Explosive Etude
(+50% Spell Damage)
(X Adventures)
Buff 50 N/A
N/A Chorale.gif
Chorale of Companionship
Playing this song for somebody will depress them, but make them value their familiars more. Chorale of Companionship
(+10 to Familiar weight)
(X Adventures)
Buff 50 N/A
N/A Prelude.gif
Prelude of Precision
Playing this song for somebody will set their head a-buzzing, and steady their hands, making them more likely to get critical hits with weapons. Prelude of Precision
(+10% Critical Hit Chance)
(X Adventures)
Buff 50 N/A
Sea Floor Skill
N/A Bubblyballad.gif
Donho's Bubbly Ballad
Why does this song make you feel so light, and so airy? I donho. Donho's Bubbly Ballad
(20% underwater penalty reduction)
(X Adventures)
Buff 75 N/A
Crimbo '09 Skill
N/A Curative.gif
Cringle's Curative Carol
Dr. Cringle believed that music was the best medicine. Dr. Cringle also set the world record for lost malpractice suits. Cringle's Curative Carol
(Regenerate 5-10 HP per Adventure)
(X Adventures)
Buff 5 N/A
The Traveling Trader Skill
N/A Incantation.gif
Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
This song was written by the son of a legendary swordsmith. It is said that it will inspire its listeners to great heights of craftiness. Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
(Lets you craft things more quickly)
(X Adventures)
Buff 100 N/A


The amount of Moxie required to attain level L follows the formula Moxie = L2 - 2L+ 5.

Class-Specific Powers

  • Knobsack.gif Pickpocket: Accordion Thieves (and Disco Bandits) can attempt to steal an item from the enemy when they get the jump in combat.
  • Stealaccordion.gif Steal Accordion: Accordion Thieves can steal an accordion from various monsters. These stolen accordions are only usable by Accordion Thieves, and have varying enchantments, AT song buff duration, and Cadenza effects.
  • Guild Store Infiltration: At level 9 or higher, Accordion Thieves who have passed their own guild's test can shop at the other two guilds' stores (The Smacketeria and Gouda's Grimoire and Grocery) by visiting those guilds. In particular, magical mystery juice is highly popular for fueling the Accordion Thief's buffs, since at levels 8 and higher MMJ is the cheapest MP restorer in the game to buy. (tonic water costs less Meat/MP, but also consumes a Nash Crosby's Still usage).
  • Accordion Thieves are the only class that can equip stolen accordions or play buffs with them. Only the toy, antique, and aerogel accordions are considered to rightfully belong to the player.
  • Accordion Thieves who have passed their guild's test can (always) access The Shadowy Store and, if they have learned Superhuman Cocktailcrafting, use Nash Crosby's Still.
  • Accordion Thieves can make recordings of 7 of their songs with the warbear LP-ROM burner, which give 20 turns of a buff, whereas other classes can record only two songs, which are produced as singles, which give just 10 turns of a buff. Accordion Thieves also have a chance to produce a recording of Rolando's Rondo of Resisto when recording.
  • Accordion Thieves can cast Sing in combat for 0 MP.
  • The Mariachi Chihuahua's attack does more damage if you are an Accordion Thief.

Class Gear


An accordion is required to cast Accordion Thief songs. Only three accordions can be used by non-Accordion Thieves:

AT only accordions have a buff duration ranging from 5 to 20 turns. See Accordions for specific song durations.

  • The best usable accordion in the player's inventory will be automatically selected, regardless of accordion equipped. If two accordions provide the same duration, one is randomly chosen.
  • Normally, a character may only have up to three Accordion Thief songs active at the same time. For ways to increase this limit, see Extra Songs.
  • Some Accordion Thief songs may only be cast a certain numbers of times per day. All of these songs can be recorded by an Accordion Thief (after a certain sidequest), and subsequently traded.
    • Each Hobopolis song can be cast up to 10 times per day. These buffs also require that the target (not necessarily the caster) be level 15 or higher.
    • Donho's Bubbly Ballad can be cast up to 50 times per day.
    • Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration can be cast up to 5 times per day.


  • All Accordion Thieves (and Disco Bandits) started with the skill Moxious Maneuver before it was removed from the game on May 22, 2013.
  • Accordion Thieves were the third class to be revamped on October 31, 2013, a few days after the Wandering Accordionists showed up. Accordion Thieves received 15 new skills (including skills that aren't buffs) and were given the ability to steal accordions from various monsters in the kingdom. At the same time, most accordions became only usable to play songs by Accordion Thieves. See Accordion Thief/Old for an archive of the skills prior to the change.


  • Polka and Zydeco are folk musical styles that typically incorporate accordions. Mariachi is a similar folk musical style, but which typically does not use accordions.
  • "Squeezebox" and "button box" are slang names for the accordion. A concertina is a similar button-operated bellows reed instrument. A hurdy gurdy is a button-operated violin, which contains strings instead of reeds. A trikitixa is a Basque accordion (which is, oddly enough, named after the sound made by its usual accompaniment, a tambourine).
  • The large amount of titles with prefixes before you reach Accordion Thief (10-15) refers to Dungeons & Dragons (1st Edition), and the tendency to have large prefixed level titles for almost all classes.
Seal Clubber
Turtle Tamer
Disco Bandit
Accordion Thief