This version of the telescope was removed with the changes to the Naughty Sorceress Quest on January 1st, 2015.
Your campsite contains a shiny telescope from Discount Telescope Warehouse. You can use it to look at distant celestial objects, or you can take a gander at things a little closer to home. What's it gonna be?
- Once per day:
- You gaze into the depths of space, and become filled with the glorious majesty of it all.
|You acquire an effect: Starry-Eyed|
(duration: 10 Adventures)
- Subsequent uses:
- You've already peered into the Heavens today. You're already feeling as inspired as you can be for one day.
- You peer into the eyepiece of the telescope, and scan the horizon looking for something interesting.
- With a basic Telescope:
- Off in the distance to the southeast, you spot a strange ring of mountains, with a cave leading into them.
- You focus the telescope on the entrance of the cave, and see a wooden gate with an elaborate carving of <carving> on it.
|Carving||Lair gate||Effect Needed||Sample Item|
|an armchair||Gate of Spirit||Woad Warrior||pygmy pygment|
|a cowardly-looking man||Gate of Humility||Wussiness||wussiness potion|
|a banana peel||Gate of Hilarity||Comic Violence||gremlin juice|
|a coiled viper||Gate of the Viper||Deadly Flashing Blade||adder bladder|
|a rose||Gates of The Suc Rose||Sugar Rush||Angry Farmer candy|
|a glum teenager||Gate of Morose Morbidity and Moping||Rainy Soul Miasma||thin black candle|
|a hedgehog||Gate of the Porcupine||Spiky Hair||super-spiky hair gel|
|a raven||Locked Gate||Locks Like the Raven||Black No. 2|
|a smiling man smoking a pipe||Gate of Slack||Extreme Muscle Relaxation||Mick's IcyVapoHotness Rub|
- With one upgrade:
- You raise the telescope a little higher, and see a window at the base of a tall brick tower. Through the window, you <description>.
- With two upgrades:
- Further up, you see a second window. Through this one, you <description>.
- With three upgrades:
- Even further up, you see a third window. Through it you <description>.
- With four upgrades:
- Looking still higher, you see another window. Through the fourth window you <description>.
- With five upgrades:
- Even further up, you see a fifth window. Through that one you <description>.
|Description||Tower monster||Item needed|
|catch a glimpse of a flaming katana||Flaming Samurai||Frigid ninja stars|
|catch a glimpse of a translucent wing||Pretty Fly||Spider web|
|see a fancy-looking tophat||Bowling Cricket||Sonar-in-a-biscuit|
|see a flash of albumen||Giant fried egg||Black pepper|
|see a giant white ear||endangered inflatable white tiger||Pygmy blowgun|
|see a huge face made of Meat||Big Meat Golem||Meat vortex|
|see a large cowboy hat||Tyrannosaurus Tex||Chaos butterfly|
|see a periscope||Electron Submarine||Photoprotoneutron torpedo|
|see a slimy eyestalk||fancy bath slug||Fancy bath salts|
|see a strange shadow||the darkness||inkwell|
|see moonlight reflecting off of what appears to be ice||Ice Cube||Hair spray|
|see part of a tall wooden frame||Vicious Easel||disease|
|see some amber waves of grain||malevolent crop circle||bronzed locust|
|see some long coattails||concert pianist||Knob Goblin firecracker|
|see some pipes with steam shooting out of them||possessed pipe-organ||powdered organs|
|see some sort of bronze figure holding a spatula||Bronze Chef||leftovers of indeterminate origin|
|see the neck of a huge bass guitar||El Diablo||mariachi G-string|
|see what appears to be the North Pole||Giant Desktop Globe||NG|
|see what looks like a writing desk||best-selling novelist||plot hole|
|see the tip of a baseball bat||Beer Batter||baseball|
|see what seems to be a giant cuticle||Fickle Finger of F8||razor-sharp can lid|
- With six upgrades:
- Near the top of the tower, you see a sixth and final window. Through it you see a <description>.
|formidable stinger||giant bee||tropical orchid|
|wooden beam||Collapsed mineshaft golem||stick of dynamite|
|pair of horns||Enraged Cow||barbed-wire fence|
- After all the above:
- Unfortunately, you can't see any farther than that.
- If your path is Bugbear Invasion, regardless of how many upgrades you have:
- You see the nether regions of a giant bugbear-shaped spaceship.
- Obtained by using Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificate.
- The telescope will remain in the player's campsite through future ascensions, with the exception of Bad Moon runs.
- A Telescope can be upgraded six times, each revealing more of the The Naughty Sorceress' tower.