A Pound of Cure

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A Pound of Cure
A Pound of Cure

You find the patient, lying down inside a giant's shoe, clutching her stomach and moaning "Why... Why did I eat those clams..."


Cure her poison

You give her the anti-anti-antidote. It kicks in almost instantly. "Thanks!" she says, "I feel better now. In fact, I'm starving. I think I'll go have some clams."

One of the five green lights on the side of your doctor bag lights up.

or

The last of the five green lights on the side of your doctor bag lights up. The bag plays a little electronic ditty, and the lights go dark again.

Your Lil' Doctor™ bag has been permanently upgraded!

A little slot opens on the side of the bag and distributes your pay.

Meat.gifYou gain some Meat.

Occurs after receiving a Lil' Doctor™ bag quest, adventuring in the right location.

Notes

  • Meat reward is 500 x number of cases completed in the current ascension, capped at 50,000 meat after 100 quests.
  • Every time 5 cases are completed, the bag's enchantments increase. Progress and upgrades are kept across ascensions.
  • Does not use an adventure.
  • The text and patient image vary based on the patient's syndrome. The messages are:
Patient number Patient Introduction text Button text Patient cure message
1 Patient1.gif You find the patient, <location text>, staring glumly at the floor. Perk him up with the patent medicine The patient drinks the serum and his eyes light up. "Wowee zowee," he says, "that's the stuff!" He bounds off with a spring in his step.
2 Patient2.gif You find the patient, <location text>, clutching her stomach and moaning "Why... Why did I eat those clams..." Cure her poison You give her the anti-anti-antidote. It kicks in almost instantly. "Thanks!" she says, "I feel better now. In fact, I'm starving. I think I'll go have some clams."
3 Patient3.gif You find the patient, <location text>, staring in horror at his fractured leg. Apply the cast You apply the cast to the patient's leg. He thanks you, asks you to sign the cast, then hobbles off to show all of his friends.
4 Patient4.gif You find the patient, <location text>, picking at a grid of perpendicular slashes on her torso. Apply the plaid bandage You carefully apply the plaid bandage, lining the stripes of the tartan up with the patient's wounds. She sighs with relief, thanks you, and leaves.
5 Patient5.gif You find the patient, <location text>, panting and sweating profusely. Cool him off with the fan You fan the patient for a while. He sighs contendedly, thanks you, and wanders off to get some ice cream.
6 Patient6.gif You find the patient, <location text>, covered in slime. Apply the phonics down You touch the patient with the phonics down. She leaps to her feet, readies her weapon, and charges off in search of more monsters to get beaten up by.
7 Patient7.gif You find the patient, <location text>, wracked with uncontrollable coughing. Give her the syrup You give the woman the cough syrup. She drinks the whole bottle, wipes her mouth, and manages to thank you without coughing.
8 Patient8.gif You find the patient, <location text>, staring off into space, his face as as white as a ghost. Transfuse the pygmy blood The color returns to the patient's cheeks as the pygmy blood fills his veins. He thanks you and wanders off to enjoy his new-found bloodfulness.
9 Patient9.gif You find the patient, <location text>, moaning "My blood! It's so thin! Help me!" Inject her with the red blood cells You inject the red blood cells into the patient. "Ahhhhh," she says, "that's much better. Now my blood is as thick as blood, where earlier it was only as thick as water." She shakes your hand in thanks and wanders off.
  • Location text in the above messages varies based on the type of zone:
    • Underground: leaning against a stalagmite; lying on the cold, damp stone floor
    • Bat Hole: lying on top of a pile of bats, hiding behind a mound of guano
    • Giant Castle: cowering inside a giant thimble, lying down inside a giant's shoe
    • Spookyraven: lying in a cobweb-shrouded four-poster bed, sprawled out on a dusty antique sofa
    • Mt. McLargeHuge?: sitting against a snow-covered tree,
    • Unconfirmed (indoor/outdoor?) lying unconscious on the ground, hiding behind a bush, hiding behind a pile of rocks, leaning against a rock, hiding behind a grandfather clock