A Meta-Metamorphosis

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A Meta-Metamorphosis
A Meta-Metamorphosis

You look out the window of the room you're in and see a normal human city, like the Seaside Town but a little gloomier. So what is a giant cockroach going to do in the big city?

Explore the house (1)

You open the door to your bedroom and walk out into the hallway. You're in some kind of Victorian-era townhouse -- it's a little like Spookyraven Manor, only more vertically compact. In the hallway, you pass a full-length mirror and check yourself out. Six spindly legs? Check. Segmented abdomen? Check. Long, fuzzy antennae? Check. Mandibles? Check. You flex your upper two pairs of legs. Man, you're one good-looking giant cockroach!

You gain <mainstat> ± 0 to 5 (capped at 200) Smarm.

Try and get a job (1)

You figure that just because you're a giant cockroach, that doesn't mean you have to be a free-loading parasite. Since you can only speak cockroach, you make a litle sign that says, "WILL WORK FOR FILTH" and hang it around your neck, then skitter out of the house to see what kind of employment you can find.

You see a building that has a giant cockroach on its sign -- maybe it's some kind of giant cockroach employment agency! You make sure that your antennae are straight, and march proudly through the front doors. A man in white coveralls sees you come through the door and freaks out. "Are you from the Interzone?" he asks, and then grabs a canister with a hose attached to it. He points the hose at you and sprays white powder all over you. As you inhale it, you feel your mind expand, and things go a little weird for a minute.

You gain <mainstat> ± 0 to 5 (capped at 200) Magicalness.

Go for a walk (1)

You skitter out of your room, down a flight of stairs, and out to the street outside. I mean, just because you're a hideous mutation, an unholy freak of nature, doesn't mean you can't enjoy a nice spring day, right? You skitter down the street, waving a feeler to the people you pass (half of whom faint, and the other half scream), and taking time to smell the roses. Just as you stop to pet an adorable little dog, a black car pulls up next to you and an older man in a black suit gets out. He walks toward you, a ferocious scowl on his face.

You try to say, "is there a problem, officer?" but it comes out *chitter* *antennae wave* *click*.

The man pulls out a wicked-looking futuristic gun and points it at you. Before you can stop yourself, you extend your mouth-feelers and swallow the gun. Whatever's powering the gun ignites tiny sparks in your abdomen, and you feel strangely refreshed.

MPYou gain ?-154-185-? Mana Points.

Occurs upon selecting "Head away from the noise" during Enter the Roach.



  • The title of this adventure refers to Kafka's The Metamorphosis.
  • "Interzone" is from the William S. Burroughs novel Naked Lunch which book also includes psychoactive pesticide.
  • The text for the third choice may draw from climactic scene in Men in Black, which takes places at the site of the 1964 World's Fair. In the scene, Tommy Lee Jones and his futuristic gun are swallowed by the bug, which he fires from inside the bug's abdomen.