A Horsery

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Possible horse names, range of the crazy horse's stats, clarify pale horse's attack frequency

The Hostler
The Hostler

Howdy! The Hostler is in, and he's hostlin'! Every day he's hostlin'! Would you care to rent a horse? It's a steal at just 500 Meat! We've got four models to choose from today.

Horse normal.gif <name name> the normal horse
Increases your Combat Initiative by 10%.
Restores HP and MP after fights.
Rent This Horse  [500 Meat]
Horse dark.gif <name name> the dark horse
Makes monsters less attracted to you.
Finds extra Meat after fights.
Rent This Horse  [500 Meat]
Horse crazy.gif <name name> the crazy horse
Gives you ±X% Muscle, ±Y% Mysticality, and ±Z% Moxie.
Does random stuff after fights.
Rent This Horse  [500 Meat]
Horse pale.gif <name name> the pale horse
Increases all of your elemental resistances by 1.
Deals Spooky Damage during fight.
Rent This Horse  [500 Meat]
Return Your Horse

You see a little plaque on the wall behind the Hostler that says
'Horse Armor Steam Key: XXXX-XXXX-XXXX'
You're not sure what it means.

Located at Right Side of the Tracks, after using a Horsery contract.
The Horsery is available during Hardcore runs.


  • Your first horse of the day is free; every swap is 500 Meat thereafter. You lose your current horse at rollover.
  • The normal horse grants +10% Combat Initiative and 5-10HP and MP per combat.
  • The dark horse increases the frequency of non-combat encounters by 5% and grants 10-15 Meat per combat.
  • The crazy horse grants a random ±0-20% to Muscle, Mysticality, and Moxie (increases are rerolled on rollover and ascension, but not on horse change). At the end of every 5th combat, grants a random wishable effect for 5 adventures (similar to an ittah bittah hookah), though this usually leaves you with 4 turns of the effect unless the fight was free.
    • Effect granting messages include:
    <name name> makes some loud gagging sounds, and coughs up a potion bottle. Which you open and drink, because duh of course you do.
    <name name> psychically links with you and draws out your latent power. Or maybe it's just a contact high.
    <name name> shares some of his loco weed with you. It's powerful stuff!
    Blue smoke drifts out of <name name>'s ears, and you accidentally inhale some. It makes you feel... different.
    <name name> whispers something in your ear. You can't make sense out of the sounds, but they stir something deep in the dark recesses of your brain...
    <name name> spits in your ear! Gah, it's ice-cold! And... uh... woah...
    <name name> winks at you, and suddenly you remember a buff that you'd had all along, but somehow forgotten.
    <name name> makes some weird noises and then sneezes on you. You feel... weird.
SomethingYou acquire an effect: ... something
(duration: 5 Adventures)[[Data:{{{effect}}}]]
  • The pale horse grants Slight Resistance to All Elements (+1) and deals 15-20 damage per round ~50%(?) of the time.
    • Attack messages are as follows:
    <name name> stares unblinkingly at your opponent until it takes 15-20 damage from the spookiness.
    You aren't entirely sure what just happened, but you think maybe <name name> kicked the ghost of one of your opponent's ancestors in the stomach, and a ripple effect caused your foe to take 15-20 damage somehow?
    <name name> drifts through your opponent's body, leaving behind a little ectoplasmic residue and causing 15-20 damage.
    <name name> tells your opponent exactly when and how it will die. It turns out the 15-20 damage this causes is a major contributor.
    <name name>'s hoof phases through your opponent's body and kicks it directly in the heart for 15-20 damage.
    <name name> tells your opponent a spooky ghost story and you clock he[sic] from behind while he's distracted, for 15-20 damage.
    <name name> trots up to your opponent and whispers something into its ear. It shudders, taking 15-20 damage.
  • The Horse Armor Steam Key is obviously different for each player.