A Girl's Best Friend

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A Girl's Best Friend
A Girl's Best Friend

You're walking down an abandoned tunnel in the dwarven mine when you see the oddest group of dwarves you've ever seen walking toward you. Instead of one 7-foot dwarf, they're 7 foot-tall dwarves. They're also chubbier and more rosy-cheeked than your average miner. They see you coming and the one in the lead -- taller than the rest, and wearing a stethoscope around his neck -- shouts a greeting.

"Hi! Ho, adventurer!" He says, bashfully. "Have you seen any diamonds in this mine?"

"What did you call me, doc? And what's a diamond?"

"Y'know, the most valuable mineral in the world... kinda shiny... goes at the top of a pimp's cane?" He says, and sneezes loudly.

"Oh, these things?" You empty your pockets of the pretty, but worthless rocks you've been gathering. Just thinking about how many of them you've picked up makes you sleepy. "Yeah, I keep finding them when I'm looking for something worthwhile -- y'know, meat, linoleum, chrome..."

"Meat? You mean, this worthless stuff?" The dwarf points grumpily to a wheelbarrow full of meat behind him. After very brief negotiations, you agree to a trade.

You happily bounce off, glad to have had a run-in with those dopey dwarves. You feel pretty moxious for trading a bunch of worthless rocks for cold, hard meat.

You gain 10 Chutzpah.
Meat.gifYou gain 100 Meat.

Occurred at Itznotyerzitz Mine.


  • The title of this adventure is a reference to the song "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend", which was famously performed by Marilyn Monroe in the film Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.
  • The dwarves and adventure text in this adventure refer to the dwarves of the movie Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: "Bashful", "Doc", "Dopey", "Grumpy", "Happy", "Sleepy", and "Sneezy".