A Flat Miner
You're sneaking around in a dark, forgotten part of the mine, when you encounter a 7-Foot Dwarf crushed under a broken piano. You're not sure how the piano got there, or why the dwarf was under it when it collapsed, but one thing's for sure -- the dwarf could probably use some help. You look around to see if there are any pliers nearby, but can't find any.
"Looks like you need to get something off your chest," you say to the dwarf, who groans. You're not sure if it's due to the piano or your lame joke.
You notice, nearby, a rather large vein of meat the dwarf was mining before he had his piano accident. You also see the dwarf's belongings nearby.
| Loot the dwarf's belongings |
You ignore the dwarf and start rifling through his belongings. You find some pictures of his 7-foot family, and a lot of purple lint. He doesn't have anything in his pockets worth stealing, so you steal his pockets. And the pants to which they're attached.
 | You acquire an item: miner's pants |
| Hijack the Meat vein |
You grab the dwarf's mattock and begin to carve out a healthy portion of Meat for yourself.
After you mattock for a few minutes, the dwarf says "Ha! That there ain't nothing' but Fool's Meat! It's worthless! Stupid Adventurer."
Great. Another gristle vein. You storm angrily out of the mine. At least you got the mattock for your troubles.
 | You acquire an item: 7-Foot Dwarven mattock |
| Help the dwarf |
You agree to help the dwarf, and spend the better part of fifteen minutes moving broken piano parts. You remind the dwarf he'd better see sharp so he won't be flat in the future. He thanks you profusely and gives you some meat as a reward.
 | You gain 100 Meat. |
Occurs at Itznotyerzitz Mine.
References
- The title and initial text refer to the following awful pun: "What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A♭ minor."
- The adventure text refers to "Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers", an album by The Firesign Theatre.
- In the "Hijack the meat vein" choice, the "fool's meat" refers to fool's gold, a common mineral called pyrite that looks like gold but is not nearly as valuable.
- In the "Help the dwarf" choice, the phrases "see sharp" and "be flat" (C♯ and B♭) continue the awful pun.
|
Itznotyerzitz Mine Choice Adventures | |||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 100% Legal | A Flat Miner | See You Next Fall | ||||||
| Demand loot | miner's helmet | Loot the dwarf's belongings | miner's pants | Give 'im the stick | miner's helmet | |||
| Ask for ore | miner's pants | Hijack the meat vein | 7-Foot Dwarven mattock | DOOOOON'T GIVE 'IM THE STICK! | 7-Foot Dwarven mattock | |||
| Say you'll keep quiet for free | 100 Meat | Help the dwarf | 100 Meat | Negotiate for a reward | 100 Meat | |||
