A Boat

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  • Initial visit:

You approach a guy dressed in a blue jumpsuit, labeled "Earl". (You assume that's the guy's name, and not the jumpsuit designer's. Or the jumpsuit itself.) He appears to be unloading some crates from a rowboat dragged up onto the beach -- one of several loads, judging from the size of the pile.

"Excuse me..." you begin. He turns around.

"Oh, thank god. Please tell me you're one of the temps the service sent," he says. He looks you up and down, and scowls a little bit. "You're not, are you."

"Um, no. I was just wondering what was going on here."

He sighs and turns back to the boat. "Tell you what -- help me shift these crates, and I'll tell you whatever you want."

You spend a half-hour or so hauling crates up past the high-water mark. Eventually the boat is unloaded and the crates organized, and Earl leans against the stack and wipes his forehead with a spotted handkerchief. "So," he says, "you see that large building up against the side of the mountain?"

You take in the building, which is a fair bit different from other buildings you've seen, though it looks like the architect had a good time designing it. "Yup."

"Convention center. And what's going on here is a convention."

"A convention for... what, exactly?"

"Slimes. Slimes, jellies, ambulatory gravies... all that kind of thing. They rented out the whole damn center. Disgusting."

"It does sound pretty... gross."

"'Gross' doesn't begin to describe it. Can you imagine what state the carpets are gonna be in? Makes me twitch just thinking about it," he grimaces. "I'm the head janitor for the place. Had to call in a whole platoon of extra hands for clean-up after they're gone. Extra cleaning supplies, too," he says, gesturing at the stack of crates. "The owners had better've gotten one heck of a fee from those things, let me tell you. They'll need it to pay my overtime."

"Hmm," you muse. "So, if I wanted to get in there..."

"Forget it. It's slimes-only in there, or at least past the lobby and in the convention proper. They brought their own staff, security, everything. Not a single human in there, nor anything else with a proper shape. Even threw me out. The security oozes said -- well, not so much said, but they made themselves pretty clear -- that I wasn't to come back till they were finished and gone." He sighs heavily. "I liked the carpet we had, too. Thought it was pretty classy. Prob'ly gonna have to rip it all out and start again."

You tap your chin thoughtfully. "Earl... what's in these crates?"

"Whaddya think? 'Gü-Gone'. In the economy-size gallon jugs."

"Mind if I take one?"

Earl's brow furrows. "Just what've you got in mind, fella/lady?"

"I'm not entirely sure yet. But I'm thinking, if I can't save your carpets, I might at least be able to get the convention to shut down a little ahead of schedule."

Earl glances around shiftily, and pries the lid from one of the crates. He hefts a jug out, fits it with a spray-nozzle, and passes it to you. "You didn't get it from me," he says with a wink.

Cleaner.gifYou acquire an item: bottle of Gü-Gone
  • Subsequent visits:

You wander back down to the beach, where Earl is sitting on one of his crates and flipping through a clipboard full of forms and papers.

"Heya Earl," you say. "What's up?"

"Just getting all this damn paperwork in order. How 'bout you? How's that... "project" of yours going?" He gives you a shifty glance. "Actually, maybe it's better if you don't tell me anything. I don't know anything, didn't hear anything, didn't see anything."

"Got it."

You start to ooze down the beach towards Earl, but sand gets in your... self. It feels really, really horrible and weird, like having an itchy mosquito bite on the lining of your stomach, and eurrrrrgh. You quickly move away from the beach and convulse for a while until you manage to get it all out.

  • After defeating your nemesis, first time:

Earl nods at you as you approach. "Thought I saw some sort of commotion up at the center," he says. "Is the convention over already?"

"Not quite, but it shouldn't be long now."

"Well, it can't be soon enough for me, I'll tell ya that for nothing. Sooner I can get in there and survey the damage, the sooner I can get my heart attack over and done with."

  • After defeating your nemesis, last time:

Down on the beach, you find Earl hauling a large metal drum towards a stack of similar drums, and lend him a hand.

"Thanks, pal," he says, wiping his brow with a spotted handkerchief. "For everything. Now that those slimes are out of there, I can get to work dealing with the unholy mess."

"How bad is it?" you ask.

"It was pretty disgusting in there. See these 55-gallon drums? These are filled with what we've been scraping off the walls and floor. Still, on the bright side, at least I've got steady employment for probably the rest of my life. It's gonna take a year just to clear the volcanic rock out of the main convention hall, let alone scrub all the slime off the surfaces. ...Say, you know some magical thing to do with this goop, don't you? Help yourself to as much of it as you want."

"Thanks, Earl, I just might do that..."

Get some slime (1)

You ladle some slime out of one of the drums. Fortunately, you had an empty vial on hand for just such an opportunity.

Vial.gifYou acquire an item: vial of blue slime


Vial.gifYou acquire an item: vial of red slime


Vial.gifYou acquire an item: vial of yellow slime
  • Thereafter:

You wander back down to the beach, where Earl has stacked up those metal drums of slime.

Get some slime (1)

You ladle some slime out of one of the drums. Fortunately, you had an empty vial on hand for just such an opportunity.

Vial.gifYou acquire an item: vial of blue slime


Vial.gifYou acquire an item: vial of red slime


Vial.gifYou acquire an item: vial of yellow slime


  • You may spend no more than ten adventures per day acquiring slime from Earl's metal drums. Attempting to collect more yields the message
    You wander back down to the beach, but night's falling and it's getting a bit too dark to be messing around with drums of toxic slime. Maybe tomorrow.
  • Attempting to collect a slime with 0 adventures remaining yields the message
    Collecting slime is an exacting science, you don't have time for that now.
  • It is possible to collect slime while falling-down drunk.


  • Earl's line about not seeing, hearing, or knowing anything may be a reference to Sergeant Schultz, a character from the old TV show Hogan's Heroes. One of Schultz's most famous lines was "I see nothing, I hear nothing, I know nothing!"

Occurs at Secret Tropical Island Volcano Lair (Sauceror)