7-Foot Dwarf Replicant

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7-Foot Dwarf Replicant
Monster ID 825
Locations Seaside Megalopolis when not possessing the essence of cute
Hit Points 155
Attack 145
Defense 130
Initiative 60
Meat None
Phylum construct
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
cyber-mattock, neurostim pill
Quest essence of stench
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
7-Foot Dwarf Replicant You're fighting a 7-Foot Dwarf Replicant

This is an android built to be indistinguishable from, or even superior to, a regular 7-foot Dwarf. They're more dwarven than dwarven. These guys are usually used to mine gorges on various offworld colonies, but this one seems to have escaped back to earth. It's seen things you wouldn't believe -- things sleepier, dopier, more bashful, and grumpier than anything on earth. Too bad you won't have time to look at his photo album before he bashes your head in.

Hit Message(s):

He makes an origami unicorn. Out of your <groin>. Oof! Ouch!

He flips you on your back and leaves you to die, gasping for water. Ow! Argh! Ouch! Ugh! Ugh!

He breaks one of your fingers. He doesn't even ask who killed the Comedian before he does it! How rude. Eek! Argh! Ow! Ouch! Ooh!

He puts his thumbs in your eyes and pushes until you see spots. Hey, at least you can still see anything. Ouch! Eek! Ugh! Argh!

He malfunctions and spews his vile-smelling, milky-white replicant blood all over you. Gross! Argh! Argh! Argh! Oof! Ooh! (stench damage)

Critical Hit Message:

He swings his cyber-nano-space- mattock in a whistling arc that ends a few inches into your cranium. Y'know, the 7-foot dwarf mattocks in your time definitely have a warmer, more organic pain to them. Oof! Oof! Ooh!

Miss Message(s):

He flips you on your back to leave you to die in the desert. It doesn't work because you're not a turtle.

He makes you an origami unicorn. How sweet!

He says, "I want more life, Tucker." You tell him your name isn't Tucker, and he apologizes for the mistake.

He spews vile-smelling, milky-white blood at you. It's startling, but not painful.

He starts to break your fingers, but you tell him who killed the Comedian.

Fumble Message:

You ask him to calculate Pi to the last decimal place. Smoke pours from his ears as he contemplates the task. By the time you clarify that you meant *apple* pie, he's nearly broken down. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Mattock.gifYou acquire an item: cyber-mattock (10% chance)*
Stimpill2.gifYou acquire an item: neurostim pill (?% chance)*
You gain some <substat>.

Occurs at Seaside Megalopolis.


  • The essence of stench appears to drop if you attack with a Ruby Rod after the monster's sole elemental attack (or corresponding miss message). It will not be listed with the other items obtained.
  • The corresponding miss message appears to be "He spews vile-smelling, milky-white blood at you. It's startling, but not painful."


  • The initial description refers to Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, particularly the dwarves Sleepy, Dopey, Bashful, and Grumpy.
  • Many details of this refer to the replicants in Blade Runner.
  • "He starts to break your fingers, but you tell him who killed the Comedian" is a reference to Watchmen.
  • His blood being milky white is a reference to the synthetics from the Alien series
  • The "calculate pi to the last decimal place" refers to the Star Trek episode "Wolf in the Fold," in which Mr. Spock flushes out an alien that has taken over the Enterprise computer by ordering it to calculate pi to the last digit, a task which is impossible (due to it being an irrational number).