7-Foot Dwarf Foreman
|7-Foot Dwarf Foreman|
|Locations||Itznotyerzitz Mine (semi-rarely)|
|Monster Parts||arm, leg, head, torso|
This is a foreman of the 7-Foot Dwarves who work Itznotyerzitz Mine. The foremen live in a nearby gorge.
You'd better be careful, or he might beat you up and cook you on his gorge Foreman grill.
He swings his pickaxe at your <bung>. Ow! Ooh!
He swings both picks at you, hitting you square in the... I can't say. It's too horrible. Ow! Oof!
He smacks you right in the <ear> with his pickaxe. You feel your gorge rise. Ooh! Ooh! Eek! Eek! Ugh!
He presses your <lower back> in his gorge Foreman grill. Smells delicious, but hurts something fierce. Argh! Ooh! Ooh! Ow! Ow!
|You acquire an effect: Grilled|
(duration: 5 Adventures)
He gorges himself on dwarven mushrooms and then attacks you in a berserker fury. You're pretty sure his love for you isn't anything like a truck. Except that getting run over by his love hurts as much as getting run over by a truck. (CRITICAL HIT!) Ugh! Oof! Ugh! Ouch!
He starts to pickaxe you, but you axe him not to.
He swings both picks at you but they clang together harmlessly above your head.
He starts to smack you again, but is distracted by a nearby table of snacks, upon which he gorges himself.
He tries to press you in his gorge Foreman grill, but it's too small to fit around your <groin>.
He gorges himself on dwarven mushrooms and prepares to attack you, but it turns out he ate the wrong kind of mushrooms. He swells to twice his original size and whacks his head on the ceiling of the cave. (FUMBLE!)
|You gain 49-70 Meat|
|You acquire an item: 7-Foot Dwarven mattock (30% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: miner's helmet (30% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: miner's pants (30% chance)*|
|You gain 14-15 <substat>.|
- The monster description is a play on the "George Foreman Lean Mean Fat-Reducing Grilling Machine", more popularly known as the George Foreman Grill, named for—and promoted with great success by—Heavyweight Champion boxer George Foreman.
- "You're pretty sure his love for you isn't anything like a truck" is a reference to a line in the film "Clerks": "My love for you is like a truck/Berserker!"
- The fumble message is a reference to the Super Mushrooms from the Mario Bros series, which would make Mario into Super Mario, who was around twice as tall.