100% Legal

From TheKolWiki
Jump to: navigation, search

100% Legal
100% Legal

As you traipse through the mine, you see an odd series of hashmarks on the walls in several of the tunnels. They're usually in some out-of-the-way place, like down at ankle level or tucked behind outcroppings of stone. It seems to be some secret code, but you can't seem to crack it.

As you wander and ponder, you encounter a dwarf sneaking guilty looks over one shoulder while he taps out hashmarks in an unused tunnel. He jumps when you approach, but relaxes when he sees you're not a foreman.

"So tell me about these hashmarks," you say.

"Well, hashmarks are legal, but they're not 100% legal. I mean, you can't just walk into a tunnel and start picking away. They want you to make them in your home or in other designated areas," the dwarf explains.

"So what you're doing right now, if someone reported you to the foreman, you'd be in trouble, right?" You say.

The dwarf starts shaking like a leaf. A 7-foot tall leaf. "Oh, man, don't report me. I'll give you anything you want."

Demand loot

You demand that the dwarf hand over some loot to buy your silence.

"But... I don't have a loot," he says. "I don't even know how to play one! Will you take my helmet, instead?"

That seems fair. You snag the helmet and continue your excavation excursions.

Minerhat.gifYou acquire an item: miner's helmet

Ask for ore

You demand that the dwarf give you some of whatever he was mining today. He tells you that it's been a lousy day in the mines and he hasn't got a single piece of ore he can give you. You're not sure he's telling the truth, so you demand his pants instead. They're a little long on you, but they'll do.

Whitepants.gifYou acquire an item: miner's pants

Say you'll keep quiet for free

You realize you don't really care if the dwarves' mine gets hashmarked and tell the dwarf that you won't tell on him. He thanks you so effusively that it's embarrassing, not to mention hard to spell. He insists on giving you all the meat in his wallet out of gratitude. You feel a little guilty about taking it, but not so much that you refuse.

Meat.gifYou gain 100 Meat.

Occurs at Itznotyerzitz Mine.


  • The title, and part of the description of this adventure ("Well, hashmarks are legal..."), refer to the 1994 movie, Pulp Fiction, in which John Travolta's character, Vincent, and Samuel L. Jackson's character, Jules, are discussing hash (the drug) in Amsterdam. Vincent says, "It's legal, but it ain't a hundred percent legal. I mean you can't walk into a restaurant, roll a joint, and start puffin' away. I mean, they want you to smoke in your home or certain designated places."
  • The description of this adventure is a reference to NetHack, in which hashmarks represent tunnels dug on the various levels of the game, and dwarves are one of the most common tunneling monsters encountered.
  • The 'Demand Loot' option which causes the dwarf to mention that he doesn't have one, let alone can play one, references the term 'loot' and the instrument 'lute'.
Bottomright.gif Itznotyerzitz Mine Choice Adventures
100% Legal   A Flat Miner   See You Next Fall
Demand loot miner's helmet Loot the dwarf's belongings miner's pants Give 'im the stick miner's helmet
Ask for ore miner's pants Hijack the meat vein 7-Foot Dwarven mattock DOOOOON'T GIVE 'IM THE STICK! 7-Foot Dwarven mattock
Say you'll keep quiet for free 100 Meat Help the dwarf 100 Meat Negotiate for a reward 100 Meat