"Kyliga Bollar," The Glaciest Guide

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More info on the races.

Welcome to The Glaciest! Read up before you freeze up, and maybe you'll get ut of here with båda of your kastanjer.


There are three different zones for adventuring at The Glaciest:

  • VYKEA, a vast labyrinth of pine and reaving. If sleep is where you are a disco Viking, here's where you fight limber, lumber, and scaling Vikings, all accompanied by unpronounceable furniture. Note that these monsters are similar to Warbear Officers, as they are treated as dudes.


Although all of Walford's assignments differ in flavor, they all involve the same task of filling his bucket with some stuff from around The Glaciest.

  • While all combats above-water normally give 1% progress (meaning a total of 100 turns for completion), The Ice Hole grants 5% progress per combat, meaning quests can be turned in by spending as few as 20 turns through smart application of Fishy and underwater tools.
  • While on a quest, the non-combats in The Ice Hotel and VYKEA will have an additional choice that will provide an additional 10-15% bucket filling, significantly speeding up acquisition. See the below table for more details.
  • In either the Ice Hotel or VYKEA, you can gain an extra 1% progress by meeting special circumstances in combat. See the below table for more details.
Supplies Combat collection method Non-combat collection method
Balls Win combat with +50% non-familiar bonus item drops in VYKEA VYKEA
Blood Inflict bleeding damage in either The Ice Hotel or VYKEA (see notes) The Ice Hotel
Bolts Win combat with VYKEA hex key equipped in VYKEA The Ice Hotel or VYKEA
Chicken Win combat with +50% non-familiar bonus food drops in The Ice Hotel The Ice Hotel
Chum Win combat with +100% non-familiar bonus Meat drops in VYKEA The Ice Hotel or VYKEA
Ice Inflict at least 10 Cold Damage during a single combat in either The Ice Hotel or VYKEA (see notes) The Ice Hotel
Milk Win combat with +50% bonus booze drops in The Ice Hotel VYKEA
Moonbeams Win combat without a hat equipped in either The Ice Hotel or VYKEA The Ice Hotel or VYKEA
Rain Inflict at least 100 Hot Damage during a single combat in The Ice Hotel VYKEA
  • The only weapons that has been confirmed to work for collecting extra blood are the remorseless knife and the reindeer sickle. Combat items that have been confirmed to work are the jagged scrap metal, jigsaw blade, old school beer pull tab, throwing knife and tin snips. As the tin snips do not get consumed on use, they are the best choice of combat item to sate your bloodthirst. Beware that the brass gear says it causes bleeding, but actually doesn't. The hedgeturtle, adorable as it might be, and the sawblade fragment have in-combat messages for bleeding, but do not trigger the additional 1%. Also of note is the VYKEA blood rune; when applied to a companion, it will activate the bleeding needed for the extra 1%.
  • As Glaciest monsters are cold-aligned, special strategies have to be taken to inflict enough cold damage to get extra ice. The most viable (and laziest) option is casting Curse of Vichyssoise and keeping the monster alive long enough to take 10 Cold damage. The cheapest option is use a single skeleton and call a skeletal wizard. A blue raspberry troll doll also accomplishes that (far more expensive).

Only one quest may be active at a time, and only one quest can be started each day. Walford rewards every assignment with 10 Wal-Mart gift certificates, which can be saved up and spent on things in Wal-Mart.


VYKEA Companions

One unique possibility of The Glaciest is the ability to build a furniture companion at VYKEA, by using VYKEA instructions while possessing a VYKEA hex key along with the appropriate materials. Acting alongside your usual familiar or even your thrall, your VALKEA companion will confer various bonuses to you until rollover, after which they disappear. The exact nature of your companion and its abilities depends on the items used to create it. The number of dowels you insert during your companion's creation determine its level, from 1 to 5.

The crafting tree

Companion Materials Damage Ability
VYKEA Dishrack Rails, Brackets Stench Gives Muscle stats
VYKEA Bookshelf Planks, Planks Spooky Gives Mysticality stats
VYKEA Dresser Planks, Rails Sleaze Gives Moxie stats
VYKEA Ceiling Fan Planks, Brackets Cold Restore HP and MP at the end of combat
VYKEA Lamp Rails, Rails Hot +item%
VYKEA Couch Rails, Planks Physical +meat%

The Dogsled Track

Similar to chariot racing, the Dogsled Track allows you to bet Wal-Mart gift certificate on sleigh-dog races which occur there every few hours. Adventurers are able to influence the outcome of these races, positively or negatively, by feeding food and booze respectively to the dogs between races.

  • How often are the races? What times of day specifically?
  • What's the payout like?
  • How much do food and booze change the outcome?
  • Booze appears to hinder the racers...


  • "Kyliga bollar" means "chilly balls", which is what you'll have while visiting The Glaciest. In fact, it's so cold that your balls will be chilly even if you're a woman. Make sure to pack your warmest underwear!
Elemental International Airport (Duty Free Shop)
Spring Break Beach
Conspiracy Island
That 70s Volcano
The Glaciest