"Handyman" Jay Android

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"Handyman" Jay Android
Monster ID 823
Locations Seaside Megalopolis when not possessing the essence of cute
Hit Points 150
Attack 150
Defense 135
Initiative 80
Meat None
Phylum construct
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, attachments, head, leg, torso
neurostim pill, physiostim pill, sham champagne
Quest essence of kink
Manuel handyman "hand soap"
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
"Handyman" Jay Android You're fighting a "Handyman" Jay Android

This robot was designed to "help out" around the house. You know, say you're a lonely housewife, and you've got a "light bulb" that needs "changed." Or maybe your "drain" is clogged, and you need someone to "plumb" it. Or your "lawn" is covered in "leaves" that you need "raked." Or your "kitchen door" is "loose" on its "hinges" and won't stop "squeaking," and you need someone to squirt "oil" in them over and over until you're "satisfied" the job is done. He has plenty of "attachments" to handle every "situation."

So, y'know, he just does "odd jobs." Why are you blushing?

Hit Message(s):

He pokes you with a spinning, whirring, vibrating, tubular "appendage." It's probably some kind of "vacuum cleaner." Eek! Ugh! (sleaze damage)

He "tightens" some of your "lug nuts." Ooh! Argh!

He "changes" the "spark plugs" on a "1985 Honda Accord." You don't even know what that means, but it hurts. Ouch! Ugh!

He "fixes" your "screen door." Um, then he punches you in the face. Ow! Ugh!

He "opens" some of your "jars." Ow! Ouch!

Critical Hit Message:

He uses his "hammer," his "screwdriver," his "crescent wrench," and several tubes of "caulk" to "overhaul" your "central heating and cooling system." Oof! Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

He whips out a spinning, whirring, vibrating, tubular appendage. You stand well back from it.

He tries to "tighten" your "lug nuts," but you're not having any of that, quotation marks or not.

He tries to "swap out" your "spark plugs," but you tell him to stay away from those.

He tries to "fix" your "screen door," but you decline.

He gives you a suggestive wink. Well, that explains all the "quotation marks."

Fumble Message:

Something shorts out in his positronic brain, and he just rocks back and forth saying, "Handyman Jay, whaddaya say?" for a few minutes. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Stimpill2.gifYou acquire an item: neurostim pill (5% chance)*
Stimpill.gifYou acquire an item: physiostim pill (10% chance)*
Chamflute.gifYou acquire an item: sham champagne (20% chance)*
Datadisk.gifYou acquire an item: essence of kink
You gain some <substat>.

Occurs at Seaside Megalopolis.


  • The essence of kink drops if you attack with a Ruby Rod after the monster's sole elemental attack (or corresponding miss message). It will not be listed with the other items obtained.
  • The corresponding miss message is "He whips out a spinning, whirring, vibrating, tubular appendage. You stand well back from it."