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News of the Kingdom from Coldfront:

Are you tired of existing in a 10x10 cubic room? Do you want to absorb more than just what manner of creatures stumble into your domain? Go out there, absorb items, learn skills and acquire effects on the road to becoming human! Don't be square, try Spring 2017's challenge path, Gelatinous Noob! Don't forget to share your memories with other blobventurers on the forum thread!
Jick: Coffee cup topology:
Jick: The Disaster Artist:
Hotstuff: This week's assignment is Hitman ( (the 2016 version), which apparently has a GOTY edition and is re-running all their old "elusive targets".

Today's Featured Article:

Uncle Crimbo

Merry Crimbo, everyone! Crimbo is a special time of year - well, time of three and a half years - which is observed by every single adventurer in the Kingdom. Traditional Crimbo rituals include receiving presents, eating candy, union busting, succumbing to amnesia and travelling through time, getting assimilated by aliens, mutating, busting kneecaps for the Mafia, working at a soul-crushing office job, supplying addicts with their fix (of sugar), building super ultra battle robot go <_<, ruining the environment, playing with robots, being one with your fellow man, and cleaning your... hat. So you can see why everyone observes it, I mean... how could you miss it?

Punch a square from your Advent Calendar, drink some punch made with highly questionable ingredients, and punch your way through Crimbo Town, and I'll see you again in three and a half years... if the fates allow!

Today in KoL History:

2009: Even though it's TOTALLY still funny, chatbot has been made immune to jawbruisers.

2007: Made an optimization change to the way your combat items are displayed during a fight, which ought to reduce lag a bit on inventory-related scripts. Please report any bugs you encounter.

2004: By popular request, Hippy Stones are now reconstructable by players who have gone two weeks without initiating a PvP attack.

In other news, that first sentence was sort of awkward.

In additional other news, I think that the reconstruction might not actually start working until Sunday -- I've evidently been keeping track of the attack records for a few days fewer than I had initially thought. Sorry 'bout that.

So, yeah. Pretend I didn't say anything.

2004: Mall searches are now exact-match-only. Asterisks can be used as, umm, whaddyacallit. Wildcards.

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