Crazy bastard
From TheKolWiki
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needs crit and fumble messages.
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 You're fighting a crazy bastardAll of a sudden, a crazy bastard lurches out of the alley, and starts lumbering toward you with malice in his eyes. And in his eyebrows. Mostly in his eyebrows, actually.
You don't know this guy, but it appears that he wants to hit you. That's right -- some crazy bastard wants to hit you.
Hit Message(s):
He waves you over, then hits you. Why did you go over there? Oof! Ouch! Argh! Ow!
He smacks you in the face with his big ol' sword. It big ol' hurts. Ugh! Oof! Ow! Eek!
Critical Hit Message:
Miss Message(s):
He waves you over, but you don't know that guy and you're not going over there.
He tries to smack you with his big ol' sword, but it's so big he can't swing it very fast.
Fumble Message:
If you lose the fight:
You are knocked to the ground. As the monster walks off, he drops a white ribbon.
Occurs at The Sleazy Back Alley, ultra-rarely.
Notes
References
- This adventure is a reference to the song Bastard Wants To Hit Me by They Might Be Giants: "Some crazy bastard wants to hit me/He's waving me over so he can hit me/But I don't know that guy, and I'm not going over there"
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