Chester

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Special attacks? Damage reduction? Etc?


Chester
Monster ID 698
Locations The Purple Light District: Van, Damn
Hit Points 8000
Attack 500
Defense 450
No-Hit 510
Initiative 200
Meat None
Phylum dude
Elements sleaze
Resistance None
Monster Parts unknown
Drops
Handful of Chest Hair, Chester's bag of candy, Chester's Aquarius medallion, Chester's moustache, Chester's muscle shirt, Chester's sunglasses, Chester's cutoffs, extra-greasy slider, Chorale of Companionship
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Chester You're fighting Chester

You walk around to the back of the van, and throw the doors wide.

"Oh, hey there! My name's Chester," says a mild-voiced hobo from somewhere in the front of the van. "Are you here for some candy?"

"No," you reply, " I'm here-"

"Did you wanna take a nap, then? I've got a real comfy mattress in here, if you're sleepy."

"Dude, no. I came here to-"

"To play with some toys? I've got all kinds of toys. Come on in here, and I'll show you."

"I'm not interested in your toys," you say, "I'm here to kick your ass."

"That doesn't sound like something a good little boy would say. That must make you a bad little boy. And bad little boys have to be punished."

He advances on you, and while the look in his eyes isn't exactly malicious, it definitely gives you the impression that he's picturing you naked. You shudder as you raise your weapon.

Hit Message(s):

He cranks the van's stereo up, and you're bowled over by an ear-splitting fragment of a Barry White song. Argh! Argh! Oof! Argh! Ugh! Ow! Ooh! Ouch! Argh! Oof!

He grabs a jack from the back of the van, and beats you with it. You can't believe that jerk whacked you with a jack! Ow! Ooh! Eek! Argh! Argh! Oof! Eek! Eek! Oof! Argh!

He puts on some romantic music, turns the lights down low, and hits you really hard in the skull. Man. You weren't expecting that last part! Ooh! Ugh! Ugh! Ow! Ow! Ooh! Ouch! Argh! Ow! Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

not known

Miss Message(s):

Worn out from chasing you around the van, he pauses to take a little nap on the mattress he keeps in the back of it.

He cranks the van's stereo up, but you whippersnappers have done so much damage to your hearing with that awful Rock and Roll noise that it doesn't even faze you.

He moves as if to attack you, but starts swaying back and forth creepily to the soft music coming out of the van's stereo.

Fumble Message:

He shows you a doll, and asks you to point to where you'd like him to touch you. You point to a spot three feet to the doll's left, and he obligingly gropes thin air. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Nopic2.gifYou acquire an item: Chorale of Companionship (???% chance)*Data:Chorale of Companionship
Burger.gifYou acquire some extra-greasy sliders (???% chance)*
Aquamedal.gifAn item drops: Chester's Aquarius medallion (???% chance)*
(This item goes to your clan's basement, and may be distributed to anyone who participated in this Clan Dungeon.)
Candybag.gifAn item drops: Chester's bag of candy (???% chance)*
(This item goes to your clan's basement, and may be distributed to anyone who participated in this Clan Dungeon.)
Cutoffs.gifAn item drops: Chester's cutoffs (???% chance)*
(This item goes to your clan's basement, and may be distributed to anyone who participated in this Clan Dungeon.)
Chestache.gifAn item drops: Chester's moustache (???% chance)*
(This item goes to your clan's basement, and may be distributed to anyone who participated in this Clan Dungeon.)
Wifebeater.gifAn item drops: Chester's muscle shirt (???% chance)*
(This item goes to your clan's basement, and may be distributed to anyone who participated in this Clan Dungeon.)
Chestershades.gifAn item drops: Chester's sunglasses (???% chance)*
(This item goes to your clan's basement, and may be distributed to anyone who participated in this Clan Dungeon.)
You acquire a clan trophy:Chesthair.gifHandful of Chest Hair

Occurs at The Purple Light District.

Notes

  • Chester prevents use of any Combat Items, with the message:
    [Chester stops you from using that item]
  • Simply being near Chester causes damage:
    Just being near Chester makes you feel kind of... icky. (sleaze damage)

References

  • "Chester" is prison slang for a CHild molESTER.
Hobopolis
Advanced MechanicsA Maze of Sewer TunnelsRichard's RedoubtShoppingHobo Code
Hobopolis Town Square
Hodgman, The Hoboverlord
Burnbarrel Blvd.
Ol' Scratch
Exposure Esplanade
Frosty
The Heap
Oscus
The Ancient Hobo Burial Ground
Zombo
The Purple Light District
Chester