X-fingered Shop Teacher

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X-fingered Shop Teacher
Monster ID 1360
Locations Shop Class (semi-rarely)
Hit Points  ?
Attack  ?
Defense unknown
Initiative 100
Meat unknown
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts unknown
jigsaw blade, wood screw, balsa plank, blob of wood glue
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
X-fingered Shop Teacher You're fighting X-fingered Shop Teacher

Mr. Jenkins has been teaching Shop Class at KOLHS for generations now, and he was old and crotchety when he started. His many horrific scars should serve as inspiration for his students to be more careful around the maim-tastic equipment in the class. But, of course, they don't, because kids these days, am I right?

Hit Message(s):

He grabs a crescent wrench and leaves a crescent-shaped bruise on your <shins>. Argh! Ugh! Argh!

He grabs a screwdriver and tries to unscrew your throat. Ouch! Ow! Ugh!

He attacks you with a tack hammer. Thank god it wasn't a ball peen hammer. Ouch! Oof! Oof!

He grabs a hammer, and notes how the top of your head now looks like a nail. Ugh! Ugh! Argh!

He grabs a jigsaw and does his best to turn you into a puzzle. Ow! Eek! Ouch!

He picks up a staple gun and treats you like an inter-office memo. Ouch! Eek! Ooh!

Critical Hit Message:

He pulls out some superglue and some C-clamps. After a few busy and unpleasant minutes, he's succeeded in semi-permanently affixing your hands to your eyebrows. Ooh! Ooh! Oof!

Miss Message(s):

He grabs a crescent wrench, but can't turn the little dial at the bottom fast enough to pinch you with it.

He grabs a screwdriver to stab you with, but you claim to be a Phillips stabbee and he's only got a standard screwdriver.

He tries to attack you with a tack hammer, but is too hammered and tacks the wrong direction.

He tries to nail you with a hammer, but is too hammered to nail the blow.

He tries to jigsaw you, but you dance a jig so fast he can't land a hit.

He tries to staple you with a staple gun, but it's out of staples.

Fumble Message:

He stops to refill his "coffee" mug with the flask full of "coffee" he keeps in the bottom drawer of his desk. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Jigsaw blade.gifYou acquire an item: jigsaw blade (100% chance)*
Longscrew.gifYou acquire an item: wood screw (100% chance)*
Balsa.gifYou acquire an item: balsa plank (100% chance)*
Glueglob.gifYou acquire an item: blob of wood glue (100% chance)*
You gain ? <substat>.

Occurs at Shop Class, semi-rarely.


  • The X in the name is a number equal to 11 minus the number of times you have beaten him across ascensions. Beating a 1-fingered Shop Teacher entitles you to the Eleven Down, None to Go trophy and changes the X to "No". Beating him more than 11 times leaves the X at "No".
  • This monster scales to your stats, plus +ML, plus 6. Gives 100 bonus substats.