Whiny pirate
From TheKolWiki
 You're fighting a whiny pirateThis pirate doesn't wanna swab the decks. He doesn't wanna trim the sails. He always has to do all the hard jobs, and none of the other pirates will help him. He wants to be the captain, and he should have been made the captain, but no one ever listens to him.
He also doesn't wanna get hit in the face, but his attitude makes that outcome all but a certainty.
Hit Message(s):
He whines, "I don't wanna beat the crap out of you! Okay, fine, here," and smacks you in the <knee>. Ow! Ouch! Ugh!
He whines that he doesn't wanna clean barrrnacles off the hull, and flings his barrnacle pliers in your face. Ooh! Ow! Ouch!
He whines, "I don't wanna polish the cannonballs!" and drops one on your foot. Ooh! Ow! Eek!
He throws a tantrum and stomps his foot down on the deck. And by "the deck," I mean, "your foot." Ugh! Ow! Ouch!
Critical Hit Message:
He throws a full-on, foot-stomping, ground-throwing, flailing, screaming, crying tantrum. You stand back and watch, but get hit by the occasional foot, fist, and hook. Ow! Argh! Ouch!
Miss Message(s):
He whines, "I don't wanna beat the crap out of you!" Which, all things considered, is fine by you.
He whines that he doesn't wanna attack you, which suits you just fine.
He whines that he doesn't wanna polish the cannonballs. You tell him you don't care if he does or not.
He throws a tantrum, but you remember your Dr. Spock and ignore him until he's done.
Fumble Message:
He starts whining again, but you threaten to pull the ship over and give him a spanking in front of all the other pirates. He seems oddly intrigued by the idea, so you back off.
 | You gain 69-84 Meat. |
Occurs at The Poop Deck
References
- A miss message is a reference to Dr. Benjamin Spock, who wrote a book on child development.
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