War Hippy Airborne Commander
From TheKolWiki
| War Hippy Airborne Commander
|
| Location
| The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues)
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| Hitpoints
| 220
|
| Attack
| 195
|
| Defense
| 185
|
| Initiative
| ?
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| Meat
| None
|
| Element
| stench
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| Physical
| None
|
- Drops
- bullet-proof corduroys, communications windchimes, exploding hacky-sack, ferret bait, ferret bait, Lockenstock™ sandals, patchouli oil bomb, reinforced beaded headband, round purple sunglasses, water pipe bomb, water pipe bomb
|
| Quest
| purple clay bead
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| edit data
|  You're fighting a War Hippy Airborne CommanderThis is a senior officer in the Hippy Air Force (whose motto is "We're, Like, So High, Man.") Since the hippies don't have planes or helicopters, and all their zeppelins are made out of lead, the Hippy Air Force consists of sugar-addled ferrets strapped into gliders. It's the kind of idea that makes perfect sense after a lifetime of hallucinogen abuse. This officer has trained her ferrets to perform advanced aerial attacks when she blows a whistle that only ferrets (and people who have listened to a lot of Mariah Carey) can hear.
Hit Message(s):
She blows one short, two long, and another short blast on her whistle. The squadron of ferrets swoop in, scratch you, and piddle in your wounds. Aigh! Ow! Eek!
She blows one long and three short blasts on her whistle. The ferret squadron swoops down, grabs a nearby beehive, and drops it on your head. Argh! Eek! Argh! Ooh!
She blows one long blast on her whistle. The ferrets swoop down, pick up a steaming-hot pot of herbal tea, and dump it all over you. Ouch! Ooh! Argh! Ow! Ow! (hot damage)
She blows one long, two short, and another long blast on her whistle, and her ferret squadron scoops up rocks and drops them on your head. Ugh! Ugh! Eek! Argh!
Critical Hit Message:
She pulls out a can of Mountain Stream soda and pours it into a ferret-feeder water bottle. A squadron of ferrets swoops down, sips it, then goes airborne berserker all over you.Oof! Ooh! Argh! Ooh! Ow!
Miss Message(s):
The squadron of ferrets look tired, so she has to stop and give them more candy and caffeine.
She tries to blow on her whistle, but hiccups and swallows it for a minute.
She blows "Shave and a Haircut" on her whistle. The ferrets all sing "Twoooooo bits!" in high, piping voices. You're not sure what that was supposed to accomplish.
She blows two long and two short blasts on her whistle. The ferrets fall asleep.
Fumble Message:
She blows three short blasts on her whistle. A squadron of ferrets swoops out of the sky at you. You make a noise like a running vacuum cleaner, though, and they scatter in fear.
Special Move:
She blows four shrill blasts on her whistle, and her ferret squadron executes a really, really nasty bombing run. Ugh! Argh! Ow! Ugh! Ouch!
Occurs at The Battlefield (Frat Warrior Fatigues).
Notes
References
- The zeppelins made of lead are a reference to the band Led Zeppelin.
- The flying ferrets may be a reference to an XKCD strip.
- The whistle blasts are Morse code and hint at the attack in question: the piddle strike is called in by a ‘P,’ the beehive by a ‘B,’ the tea bombing by a ‘T,’ and the nap by a ‘Z.’ (The fumble is an 'S', and the rocks an 'X', and appear to not hint at the attack.)
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