Vegetable gremlin
From TheKolWiki
 You're fighting a vegetable gremlinThis isn't a gremlin in a permanent vegetative state -- that would be not particularly threatening, and in stunningly poor taste. No, it's a gremlin that some mad scientist was using to test genetic splicing for plants. So it's your basic slimy, green, fanged, clawed monstrosity, only with cabbages, tomatoes, and carrots growing off of it at odd angles. Science!
Hit Message(s):
It feeds you tomatoes and radio wire. The tomatoes don't hurt, but the radio wire sticks in your throat. Oof! Ouch!
It pummels you with a head of cabbage. It doesn't hurt, but then a stork swoops down and grabs the cabbage, biting your knee in the process. Ooh! Eek!
It picks a beet off of itself and beats you with it. You wish it would have let the beet drop instead. Ow! Ow!
It throws six or seven tomatoes at you in rapid succession. You feel like a really bad comedian or an unpopular politician delivering a speech. Ugh! Ooh!
It stabs you in the calf with a carrot. At least your night vision will improve, so even in the dead of night you can see how badly you're bleeding. Ouch! Oof! Ugh!
It picks a radish off of itself and tosses it at you. You get run over by a horse. Oof! Ouch! Ooh! Oof! Eek! Ugh! Argh!
It whips out a screwdriver and stabs you with it. Where did it get the vodka and orange juice? Oh, wait, it was just the regular, metal, stabby kind of screwdriver. Ouch! Ouch! Argh! Ooh! Ow! Ugh!
 | You gain 40-60 Meat. |
If Yossarian's quest was completed as a War Frat
If Yossarian's quest was completed as a War Hippy
Occurs at The Junkyard.
Notes
References
- The hit message about tomatoes and radio wire refers to the climactic verse of the song "Two-Headed Boy Pt. 2" from the album In the Aeroplane Over the Sea by Neutral Milk Hotel.
- The actual Gremlin in question comes from the movie Gremlins 2: The New Batch where Billy has moved to New York and works in a high-rise catering to various companies, one of them a gene-splicing lab.
- The hit message about having the beet drop is a reference to the Beastie Boys song "Intergalactic", as one of the most famous lyrics is "Beastie Boys known to let the beat drop", with extreme emphasis on the last part.
- The hit message about the beet dropping may also refer to the beet in-game item which no longer drops.
- The hit message about being pummeled with a cabbage followed by a stork swooping down and grabbing the cabbage is a reference to Skully's elaborate description of 'where babies come from' from one of the radio shows. According to him, babies are made 'when a stork and a cabbage love each other very much...'
- The attack message involving being trampled by a horse after it throws a radish at you may be a reference to horseradish.
- The hit message involving the screwdriver references a cocktail consisting of vodka and orange juice.
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