Van, Damn

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Van, Damn

You find yourself at the far end of the Purple Light District, but you're not all you find there -- you also find a rusted out van, on cinder blocks, with the words "FREE CANDY" spray-painted on the side.

You're guessing that this van contains a particularly shady character. Wanna teach him a lesson?

• With sleazeform:

You knock on the door of the van, and a sleazy-looking hobo pops his head up to the window and looks at you. He sizes you up, smiles a very unsettling smile, and says "Right on, man. Right on." You leave, feeling a little skeeved out...

• If someone else has already entered combat with Chester:

You go around to the back of the van and open the doors to see your clanmate <name> fighting the van's owner. You should wait until they're finished.

• If Chester has already been defeated:

You go around to the back of the van and open the doors, but find the van empty. Darn it. You were hoping for some free candy!

• Otherwise:

Chester -- (edit metadata)
Chester	Item Drops: Handful of Chest Hair, Chester's bag of candy, Chester's Aquarius medallion, Chester's moustache, Chester's muscle shirt, Chester's sunglasses, Chester's cutoffs, extra-greasy slider, Chorale of Companionship Meat Drop: None Substat Gain: ? Monster Level: ? Moxie for No Hit*: ? Hit Points: 8000? Elemental Resistance: sleaze Elemental Weakness: cold and spooky Physical Resistance: none

You decide you're not quite ready for whatever jelly the owner of that van might want to share with you. You'll come back when you're better prepared.

Occurs at The Purple Light District.

Notes

• This adventure only occurs when The Purple Light District is clear of hobos.
• Only successfully fighting Chester costs an adventure.

References

• The name of this adventure is possibly a reference to the Burnout videogame series.
  (This reference may not be entirely accurate, so it needs to be double checked and properly explained and formatted. See this page's talk page for more information.)
• It might also be a reference to the actor Jean-Claude Van Damme.