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Vampire glitter

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Item number: 3786
Description ID: 774283738
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vampire glitter
vampire glitter

Apparently there's a new fad among vampires to coat themselves in glitter so that they sparkle in direct sunlight, instead of bursting into flames. This is a handful of said glitter. Even in the dark, it glows with resonant paranormal energy. Or maybe that's just sexual frustration.

Type: usable
Selling Price: 600 Meat.

Cannot be traded

Only Pastamancers may use this item.

(In-game plural: handfuls of vampire glitter)

Obtained From

McMillicancuddy's Farm
vampire duck

When Used

Scpowder.gifImage:Scpowder.gifVampire glitter
You smear the glitter on your forehead, over your third eye, and concentrate your consciousness inward. You go through your belly button and come out the other side, into a plane of pure thought and essence. "Wow, this place is amazing!" you say.

"Do you think so?" a voice says. "I find that it only intensifies my brooding angst. You see, when I had a physical form, I could brood about being a vampire and not wanting to suck blood, because that made me so much more attractive to the fourteen-year-old girls who loved me. I was able to repress my vampire self and become an utterly harmless, sexless kind of superhero instead of a vampire. Here, I can't suck blood, so I can't brood about not sucking blood, so I'm totally angsty about that, and there're no teenage girls here to find that irresistible. It sucks."

"Pun intended?" you ask. "Ah, never mind. Listen, if you'd like, I'll make you a new body on the physical plane, and you can inhabit it and brood all you like."

"Will it be a handsome, tragically beautiful form? Will I make all the girls swoon as I tell them I love them too much to suck their blood?"

"Um. Something like that, sure," you say. "Or it'll be a hideous form that enables you to finally convert that brooding to rage and just suck some blood and be scary, for crying out loud."

"Huh. You know, that doesn't sound half bad. I've had the most wicked case of bluefangs for as long as I can remember."

"Bluewha? Never mind. I don't want to know. What shall I call you when I summon you?"

"My name is written in blood across the history of time . . . but you can call me <name>."

Scpowder.gifImage:Scpowder.gifVampire glitter
Using this item will sever your connection with <name>. Are you sure you want to do this?
  • Otherwise:
Scpowder.gifImage:Scpowder.gifVampire glitter
You have no idea what to do with this thing.

Notes

  • Allows you to establish a connection with a Vampieroghi.

References

  • Just about everything about this item is a reference to the Twilight series of vampire books.
  • Blue fangs is a reference to blue balls.

See Also

Collection

TOP 10 vampire glitter collections
1. Mousseme - 63 | 2. ZmobieMancer - 42 | 3. Magic2729 - 23 | 4. CeruleanArcher - 19 | 5. Mundania - 15
6. thehun - 14 | 7. crash bang boom - 12 | 8. ThunderGate - 12 | 9. BWF Jeff - 11 | 10. Lord Stefano - 10
Collection data courtesy of ePeterso2 and Jicken Wings
This page was last modified on 5 June 2009, at 12:54.
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